Play Tyrus Thomas at Small Forward

I know its the New Year, but I can't let this hang over me. My eyes are set on Bulls with the Bears demise. And from what I can tell, the Bulls are not very good. If they continue to go down the small ball, inconsistent lineup route that From Black has orchestrated the Bulls will either not make the playoffs or get thumped by a real team in the 1st round.

My suggestion you ask? Play Tyrus Thomas at small forward. If we're going to go with Derick Rose and the midget Ben Gordon as our back-court, then we have to go big in the front. So here's this experiment: A starting lineup of Rose, Gordon, Tyrus, Gooden and Gray (or Noah).

Just like the Pistons with the smallish Billups and Richard Hamitlon in the back-court, Dumars subsided their height weakness with a very tall front court of Ben Wallace, Rasheed and Tayshawn. Billups and Hamilton aren't good man-man defenders, but when you put the 6-11 Prince, 7ft Rasheed and enormous presence of Ben Wallace in the front court, teams no longer could attack the basket. Similarly, a front court of Thomas, Gooden and Gray/Noah should overcome the defensive liabilities of our short guards.

Of course this means that Deng would need to be benched. No problem here. I'd trade him in a second. He still has value in this league.

Lastly, I'll note that Del Negro has been upset with his team's defensive effort. He only has himself to blame for going to small ball (Did he not notice that small ball didn't get the Suns to a championship?). As I've said before, sure scoring 100 points is great, but it means nothing when you give up 115.

TMTs: The Chicago Bears Offseason

Question: When is the best time to be a Bears fan? Answer: The Offseason. Unlike the regular season, there’s no chance the Bears are going disappoint you and lose. You don’t have to see Lovie Smith and his deer in headlights expressions. And of course, once the free agent period begins and the draft approaches, we have hope. Let’s look at the Bears offseason list and priorities.

1. Do we need to change the coaches/GM? I-Truth and I discussed this over lunch. Is Angelo or Lovie Smith more to blame for the Bears demise? We went around in circles arguing: “Of course its Angelo, don’t you recall Dan Badzuin, Okwo, Cedric Benson or Michael Haynes”? “Yeah, but Lovie can’t teach and evaluate the young players. Look at Justin Gage, Marc Columbo, or even Cedric Benson prospering on other teams. Angelo drafts players that fit Lovie’s system and tastes.” “True, but doesn’t that mean that Angelo let’s Lovie have too much say in draft day decisions?” As you could tell it’s a cyclical pattern. Basically, they both suck. But unless I miraculously obtain 1Billion to buy the Bears, they are both staying. Let’s just move on.

2. Can Kyle Orton be our franchise QB? Yes and No. Orton can be our QB, if he had TJ Housh, Anquan Bolden and Devin Hester as wide receiver options. Absent that dream WR corps, Orton’s going to be just another average Bears QB. Even though Lovie and Turner already blessed him with their seal of approval (which is ridiculous b/c he was awful the last few weeks and its f’n December 08 for goodness sakes). Anyway, I’m fine with Orton for one or two more years provided (a) we go out and get a legit #1 WR option (TJ Housh) and (b) the Bears get a project QB in the draft or free agency to take over the reins in the long-term.

3. What is our most pressing need? The Bears have no option but to go out and sign Anquan Bolden, TJ Housh or perform some miracle to trade for a top WR talent. They will probably draft near 18 and won’t likely find a premier WR in the draft. Plus, do you really want Angelo to be drafting offensive skill position players? If the Bears can’t get a top WR in the free agency market, next season is a wash and we will be sitting right here again at near .500.

So let’s assume they manage to get their WR in the free agent market. The Bears have obvious needs on the OL, but again, I don’t want Angelo drafting offensive players. Thus, let’s focus on that aging defense. If the Bears are going to stick with the Cover 2, they got to get a better pass rusher. Alex Brown is okay. But Adewale “oops I think I hurt my pinky” Ogunleye has got to go. He’s over paid and under-performs.

Secondly, the Bears have to go after an elite safety in the draft. I love Mike Brown, but you can’t rely on him. There is no way we can go another season thinking that Kevin Payne or Danieal Manning can play safety. Whether it’s the draft or free agency, we need a legit safety other than Mike Brown.

4. Okay, you’ve covered DE and safety, what else? I’d love to see them get a guard for the offensive line. They need to pick-up a starter in free agency. In addition, they could use more depth at the corner position. Charles Tillman is overrated and has trouble playing man-to-man coverage. I actually like Vasher and Graham, but we need more depth.

5. If you could assemble a realistic Bears 2009 Bears team, what players would it consist of?

Offense:

QB: Orton, with a rookie or free agent in waiting groomed to take over in 2010 or 2011.

RB: Easy- Forte

TE: Olsen, Clark

LT- Williams/Tait

G- Free Agent Guard and possibly John St. Clair. (I’d like to see Garza on the bench backing up these guys).

C- Kreutz with Beekman backing him up

WR1: TJ Hoosh (I’d even take Anquan Bolden)

WR2: Devin Hester

WR3: Earl Bennet/Free Agent/ or 4^th rounder in draft.

Defense:

RE: Alex Brown

DT-Marcus Harrison

DT- Tommie Harris

DE- First pick in Draft (Or getting a guy like Terrell Suggs in free agency) and trade away or cut Ogunleye.

OLB: Briggs and Roach

MLB : Urlacher (although, it’s probably time to find his replacement)

DB1: Corey Graham

DB2: Vasher (with 2^nd or 3^rd rounder in draft waiting in wings)

Nickel: D. Manning/2^nd or 3^rd rounder

FS: Tillman/Mike Brown

SS: First pick in draft or through free agency.

I realize there are some redundancies in the list, but you get the picture. Obtain a WR in the free agent market. Shore up your OL with a starting caliber guard in free agency. Draft a DE/Safety # 1 or 2, and add depth at corner through the draft. If possible, look for QB of future in draft or through free agency.

Unfortunately for us, Lovie probably convinces Angelo to draft a linebacker from Cob Community College (a Division 5 school) in the first round that nobody, even Mel Kiper, has ever heard of.

Fortunately for us, it’s the offseason.

Chicago Bears Vs. Texans: Like Grey's Anatomy, this Show Should be Cancelled.

Lauryn Hill, then of the Fugees, once said that the Knick's would build you (the fan) up just to lose the championship. Likewise, the Bears built us up, just to lose to the lowly Texans.

But even that great line by the best rap group ever doesn't sum up what the 2008 Bears were. Instead, the Bears were like Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, I said it. At its inception, (yes, I watched some of the first season), Grey's wasn't that bad. It had the two things you most wanted in a TV show, good writers and good enough actors. Unlike its present day perversion, shows were well thought out and actually made the TV audience laugh. Version 1.0 of Grey's was an hour long comedy that made you want to tune on Thursdays.

Of course, once you get past that first nostalgic year, you started to see the real flaws. The writers that seemed to have devoted a lifetime to one season,couldn't muster the skills to write Season 2. The actors now seemed better cast for General Hospital. Everything felt unrealistic and detached. During sweeps weeks, the story lines got so out of whack, that they made House seem normal. Thus, you began to see the real Grey's: A Below average and desperate show.

Like Grey's, Version 08 of the Chicago Bears looked good early on. The new actors- the QB, receivers, and offensive line all looked like academy award winning players. The new defensive script displayed at Indy with linebackers crowding the line of scrimmage looked intriguing. Heck even the directors: Lovie Smith, Turner and Babich looked a little Scorsese like. The Bears were a 3-hour long reality show that made you want to tune in on Sundays.

But then after all the glitz and glamor of the no huddle offense and aggressive play-calling faded, we, the fans, started to see the Bears for who they really were. (Insert, they are who we thought they were line here). Orton appeared more reality star actor than Oscar worthy. The script got old on defense as offensive coordinators made adjustments. And well, lets face it. Lovie Smith's still Lovie Smith. He'd be a great porn director, but he's no Tarrantino. We began to see the real Chicago Bears: A below average and desperate team.

The Bears kept us glued for a little while longer with the wacky blocked kicks, muffed punts that bounced our way, and OT victories. Again, just like it was sweeps week. But in the end, they're were as pathetic as that cast of annoying doctors. But luckily for us fans, the Bears will get picked up for 16 (or more) episodes next year. Unfortunately, so too will Greys.

Tuesday Monring Thoughts: God Must Hate the Green Bay Packers

It wasn't luck that granted the Chicago Bears a win versus the Packers, it was a miraculous intervention. Two blocked field goals, a muffed punt fumble recovery, and Kyle Orton giving the Packers the ball in key possessions isn't luck. Luck is when you find a dollar on a street. Or when you get the promiscuous stripper at the Admiral. No, the Bears weren't lucky to beat the Packers, they were blessed to beat the packers.

I don't know, maybe God was angry with the Packers' trade of Brett Favre. Maybe, some rotten cheese made its way up there. Or Maybe god just likes the Bears better (Tommie Harris prays a lot). Regardless, you get the point. The Bears aren't good, they aren't lucky; they just had God on their side. On to the TMTs (Bears addition).

1. Kyle Orton is an average quarterback. And just like most NFL QB's, if he gets good protection and has good wide receivers, he's going to play well. On the other hand, if he has shitty wide receivers and poor protection, he'll look like Cade McNown. Kyle isn't a franchise quarterback, unless he surrounded by franchise players. As I have said before, he is a third world country's poor man's Peyton Manning. A good, smart quarterback that lacks consistency, and the ability to throw the long ball (honestly, why can't he throw the long ball? He's just terrible at it. It's always too short or off target.)

2. My ears started bleeding for some reason last night while watching the game. Maybe it was a severe ear infection? Nope. Just Tony Kornheiser.

3. Its cold in Chicago nation. Get over it.

4. Aaron Rodgers (pardon my french) looks like a smug bitch. But, he's a whole lot better than Kyle Orton.

5. For what seemed like the 16th time this season, the Bears couldn't get pressure on the QB while rushing 4 players. I like Alex Brown, but he doesn't get it done. Adewale is always hurting his pinkie and can't play. Mark Anderson looks dazed and confused. Besides a safety, QB, OL, WR, and maybe a corner, the Bears other biggest need is a pass rusher.

6. Lance Briggs was all over the field last night. He makes Brian Urlacher look like Barry Minter. Just an excellent all out effort by the guy.

7. The Packers match up well against the Bears because their corners can play man-to man coverage and shut out our receivers, leaving the safeties to roam the field and stack the box. Its simple, the Bears were playing without WRs last night and couldn't move the ball in the running game as a result. It also doesn't help when your QB throws the ball directly to the other team on at least 5 occasions (besides the two picks, Orton should have been picked off 3 more times).

8. The Bears on the other hand, struggle on defense because if they stack the box, the other team's WRs run havoc on our corners. Charles Tillman isn't a man-to-man cover corner. He plays off his man 10 yards and is always a threat to get beat deep. On the other hand, Corey Graham looks like a beast at left corner. I also hope Mike Brown's all right.

9. The MNF crew got a laugh at our weather sideline reporter, Amy Freeze's name. I find it funny that we need a reporter to tell us what we already know- its f'n freezing out here. Thanks for letting us now Amy that's its minus 12 degrees).

10. Happy Holidays and go Giants.

Finally, someone with credibility argues that the BCS actually makes the regular season meaningless

I've written several times that the BCS's backer's logic that a non-playoff makes the regular season more important is completely false. Example you ask? USC wasn't playing a meaningfull game once it lost a game. Did anyone care what Penn State did after their loss to Iowa. Those teams weren't playing meaninfull regular season games when they lost, even one game. And that's the elite teams. What happens to 95% of the other teams when they lose a game or two in the first quarter of the season. Are you trying to tell me that Wisconsin, Boise State or even LSU played meaninfull regular season games this year? The BCS is completely stupid and I won't follow a sport that is determined by powerful people in boardrooms instead of the athletes on the field.

Finally, out of all the people, Frank Deford makes the argument that I've been preaching. Here.
Thanks.

Random Thoughts: Bears to Bulls, Soldier Field to Wrigley

1. I didn't read one interesting article on Tribune sports or Sun-Times Sports today. Telander's article on Urlacher was all over of the place and completely boring. (See my link at the bottom of his article on the Times' Website for a much better (although outdated) analysis on Urlacher. At least, it will keep you from sleeping).

2. I hope the Bears and the City keep grass at Solider Field. Its better for the players' knees. It's Chicago baby. Cold, outside and grass. Plus, the criticism by commentators about the grass is overrated. These people think that players don't slip on artificial turf when its raining or snowing as well. The grass is fine. Its Chicago people not Dallas.

3. I'm not a follower of Hockey and the NHL, but I really respect the sport. I think its brilliant that they're playing an outdoor game at Wrigley. Looks like some smart business people are running the NHL (Probably from the University of Chicago's Booth School of Business).

4. I can't believe the Bulls lost to Charlotte last night. Gooden was getting eaten alive by Ameka Okafor. Tyrus and Noah actually played well together last night. Deng was non-existent (I still think he's incredibly overrated and overpaid). Gordon and Rose were playing some selfish basketball.

5. With Rose taking over as the go-to scorer down the stretch, you just know that Ben Gordon is fuming inside. The guy has been our offense for the past 4 years and now some rookie guard is taking it over. There is a little cold and silent war brewing between Gordon, Hughes and Rose for shots. You just know Gordon is going to keep on shooting .

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Poor Coaching Decisions

1.

1. You can never, ever over layer yourself for a Bears game in December.

2. I can’t stand Drew Gooden. He’s soft, has no post game, and is disturbingly ugly. I still can’t understand why NBA players who are paid millions of dollars look as beefed up and cut as a homeless person. Does Gooden not work out? Anyway, he’s got a good mid-range shot. Unfortunately, unless he’s playing a midget PF or center he’s too small to post up. Which means the Bulls have no real post player other than Aaron Gray (insert joke here).

3. Peter King mentioned the Bears several times in his MMQB. He indicated that he believes in Kyle Orton (which may be sarcasm) and doesn’t understand why Devin Hester runs kicks backwards. Kudos to King for realizing that the Bears play in the NFL. It’s only the 2^nd largest market (since LA doesn’t have a team) in the country and the Bears have the most wins in this history of the league. Something tells me that if it wasn’t for a national game on Thursday night, King would still only believe that the NFL consists of the Giants, Eagles, Skins, Cowboys, Patriots or Steelers. Oh wait, he likes Peyton Manning as well.

4. There is nothing more annoying than paying hundreds of dollars to see your home team play, while sitting next to a fan from the opposing away team. This needs to stop. Especially, if you have a loyal fan base. I can see teams in Florida or Arizona having more away fans than home fans at games because of the retirement immigrations. But, other than that, if you are wearing the opposing team’s jersey at a Bears game, the security should not let you in.

5. You are up by 4 points with a few minutes left in the 4^th quarter. Your best player is your running back you accounts for over 1/3 of your team’s total yards. It’s 1^st down and you are on your 35 yard line. Do you (a) run the ball with your best player, (b) pass the ball to your best WR, or (c) pass the ball to your waiver wire/practice squad FB who hasn’t caught a pass all year. Answer if you are the Bears? (c) you pass the ball to your FB, who drops an easy pass. 4 seconds tick off the clock.

6. Its 2^nd down. All information in the prior paragraph still remains true (except its 2^nd down), even your options. ANSWER: If you are the Bears? None of the above. Instead, your QB waits 5 seconds and throws (yes, throws) an interception.

7. Its overtime and you have the ball at your opponent’s 17 yard line and its second down with plenty of time on the clock. Do you (a) run the ball with your best offensive player, (b) make a nice short low risk pass to your TE or RB in the flat or (c) take a kneel down and lose two yards, making a 34 yard field goal a 36 yard field goal? Answer: IF you are the Bears? You guessed it (c).

8. It’s the 4^th quarter and you are up by 4 points with 8 minutes left in the game. You have the ball on your own 47 yard line and its 4^th and 3. Do you (a) punt the ball to the opposing team, (b) ask your offense to get the 1^st down, or (c) bring in your punt unit and ask you punter to throw a 20 yard pass down field to your back up running back who is covered by 3 players? Answer: If you don’t know by now, stop reading this. The Bears believed that Brad Maynard to Adrien Peterson was a better option than anything their offense could run. And still people stick up and say Lovie Smith isn’t the problem.

9. I’m guessing the Giants could use Plexico Burress right now.

10. Assuming Giants cut Plexico, should Bears go after him (I say should instead of would b/c Bears would never go after Plexico)? The guy has been the leading receiver on a SB team ( Giants) and won the SB on his game winning catch with the Giants. His off field issues aren’t good. But remember he shot himself, not someone else. Could you imagine how much better we would be with a player with his talent? I don’t know. But for the right price, I’d get him. With him on the field, team’s need to double him, which leaves more room for Devin Hester and Forte to work their magic.

Pat Williams Hurt and Out: Redemption Song

ESPN link to the news.

Chicago Bears vs. Saints: Love it Live

You enter the fandom at Calumet and 18th. Cops look for the slightest evidence of Frank the Tank. Yet, they'll give you a high five and yell "you're late, the games about to start. Hurry up". You travel under the tunnels screaming like a little school kid just to hear the echo, "GO Bears... gooo bearssss....go bea.....". Everyone's giddy like its the last day of school. Pessimism hasn't set in yet. The city is yours. Everyone's an Obama thinking "Yes we can". Your buddy Wooly makes a crack about your game attire in that it resembles that of an Eskimo. You were big before, but those layers make you look like a cross between Santa and a fat bum.

You start to pick up your stride as you pass that last tunnel. You can see it: the doric columns, the blue and orange, and of course that green "Soldier Field" sign. You can smell it: the breaths of beer, burbs of brats, and that whiff you only can smell at a live game, joy. Of course you can hear it: "Bears! Bears! Bears!.. Saints Suck... Packers suck!!!! Forte!!!".

You follow your buddy Spree to the shortest line. Snuggle with your boy Hines Ward just to shield you from the wind. Everyone's cramped in those lines waiting for the airport guard to give you a pat down. He touches your ass. You don't care. You hope the ticket's real. It sure is. The girl gives you a smile and tells you to go ahead and enter.

Then... Well then you step in. Everything gets louder. Your 5 senses go to ludicrous mode. The 6th sense finds the best path to out maneuver that growing crowd. Wooly say's lets go this way.. But, your mind's made up. Left, then right, juke the program guy, bump the out of towner with the hunting gear and yell as you run buy the dork wearing the gold and white fake helmet, "Saint's suck".

Then.. the best part. You rise up to that last step. You're on level 100. And you see it. The greenest winter green you've seen in a month. You see 54 and 22 in the distance. Lights, cameras and all action. Its like that first bike you got for your birthday. Or the ice cream truck. Eye's, mouth, ears wide open. Whether your at the United Center, Wrigley, or Soldier Field; nothing beats that first glimpse of the field and players.

Its 17 degrees but everyone's hot. You make it your seats and drop like its hot. Its game time. Live.


Alright. You've heard all the analysis of Thursday's game vs. the Saints. But, let's at least give out the players and haters awards.

1. Players: (1) Forte (given). (2) Devin Hester. Without him we don't win the game. I don't care that he isn't running returns back like he used to. Besides, Daniel Manning can handle it. We might as well let him do something. DH's our best wide out. No way we win without him getting those PI calls. (3) Defense: The offense was terrible (second half) and although they gave up a lot of points, they had a lot of key stops, 2 ints, and 4th down stands against one of the best offenses in football. (although they got to figure out how to stop giving up the the 3rd and long).

2. Haters: (1) Orton. Terrible again. I still can't believe he threw that interception in the 4th quarter. He doesn't look like the franchise QB anymore. (2) The Fake Adrien Peterson. (3) The coaching staff: Lovie for doing nothing and having the worst game management known to man. The fake punt in the 4th quarter and decision to kick in OT on 2nd down for a 36 yard kick was horrendous. Turner for going really conservative to start the 2nd half instead of trying to put the game away. Terrible play calling in 4th quarter passing to fullback and then Orton's INT. Some of the most retarded play calling I've seen in a long time. Babich for not getting more pressure on Brees when he started to get rolling. (4) And of course lastly, "Rashid Davis". The worst WR in the NFL in my opinion. Yet, he somehow keeps getting on the field (numerous times he was the sole WR playing in one WR sets) despite constantly dropping easy passes. Why we don't give a chance to Rideau or Bennet I have no idea. And no, I don't fall into the stupid media hype that Earl Bennet is a bust. He's not (at least not yet). For all we know this guy is a pro-bowler. I just don't trust the Bears coaching staff to put the best players on the field. They play favorites (see Rashid Davis) and that's how they field their teams. For instance, why isn't Greg Olsen the #1 TE? I like Desmond Clark but if your going to call a play for a TE in the red zone, that TE better be Olsen.

Anyway.... with Vikings win it looks like Bears won't be going to the playoffs. Their best bet is a wild-card. As I-truth told me in frustration, "The Bears win despite their coaching". Not sure if that's totally true b/c the players mess up as well, but we aren't a playoff team.

Bailing out GM/Ford. Would you Bailout the Clippers?

The Los Angeles Clippers, along with the Arizona Cardinals, Cincinnati Bengals, and Detroit Lions all hold the unofficial title as worst sports franchises. To make this clearer, prior to 2006, the "Clippers" hadn't won a playoff series EVER. The franchise did win a playoff series 28 years prior, when they were called the Buffalo Braves. Likewise, the Arizona Cardinals couldn't manage a home playoff game until this year. The last time they did that, they were the Chicago Cardinals playing at Comisky.

So what's the point of this franchise hating? Well, I'll pose the question to you. If you had an extra billion in your pocket, would you give it to the Clippers? The Lions? The Bengals? Likely not. Economist's call this the opportunity cost of money. Surely, you could spend that money on something more profitable.

Likewise, I can't understand why the Federal Government seemingly spearheaded by President-Elect Obama (while Bush is somewhere on a ranch in Texas. Which is fine by me), wants to bail out GM and Ford. Why bail out the Bengals, when you can use that money for better causes? GM and Ford have consistently created non-efficient, poor handling, high mile per gallon, and overly ugly vehicles for the past 30 or 40 years. While GM was adopting army vehicles, the size of a mack trucks for ordinary consumers (i.e. the Hummer) , foreign automakers were creating less costly, better fuel efficient vehicles, that felt fun to drive and actually looked good. GM and Ford are partly to blame for the high MPG, fuel cost expenses we found this past year due to their inability to compete on the world stage. Instead, of creating more innovative cars and efficient vehicles, they created the trend for big and unsafe sport utility vehicles. In the US, we see Daddy's girls riding solo in their GM Suburban (here), while Europe and Asia have been trotting out smaller fuel efficient cars (okay, this is too much).

So why are we rewarding GM/Ford/Chrysler with billions of dollars (note, they've been losing money so fast that $30 billion won't help them out of this crunch)? GM/FORD have been whining for so many years due to the contracts with unions that call for high pensions/health benefits that they say make their vehicles more expensive then their foreign counterparts. Wouldn't it make sense to go bankrupt, sever those contracts and start all over. Bankruptcy doesn't mean the end of US manufacturing of cars. It just means that someone (whether its Toyota or a smaller line of GM cars) will create more profitable US made cars in the future.

The caveat to this argument is that the bankruptcy of these companies would create enormous job loss. However, the entire auto manufacturing industry is only comprised of approximately 250K workers. (to put this into perspective US has a labor force of about 150 million). First, not all these workers would be laid off in the event of bankruptcy. Secondly, giving these companies billions of dollars does not guarantee these same workers will keep their jobs. To the contrary, GM/Ford would still be running at negative profits due to a decrease in sales, which would still require layoffs.

Finally one last point. To be fair, GM/Ford and other American automakers are now actually creating their best cars. They are smaller, fuel efficient and becoming more attractive. In fact, experts say that these cars rival even the best foreign made cars. Unfortunately, they still have that darn Chevy or Ford emblem on the front of them. And I for one, can't get that Oldsmobile Delta '88 out of my head to make me buy another American car.

Lets do something better with that money (education, giving it to the laid off workers, etc), instead of investing it in the Clippers.

Thanks Matt Bowen

This is what I'm talking about when I say we need better sports writing in the city. Matt Bowen (no idea where he came from) does a great job dissecting one of the Bears' pass plays. Read it here.

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: $5 Dollar Footlong..

TMTs

1. Why does Orton have to be so ugly and goofy looking? I mean I’m straight and all and QBs’ looks shouldn’t matter. But they do. All the greats: Montana, Marino, Brady, Favre, etc., weren’t fugly like Orton. I wonder if we ran a regression on NFL QBs looks and QB ratings, if we would find a direct correlation between fugly and poor passer rating. Anyway. No homo here of course.

2. 5 Dollar foot-long. It easy pretty annoying. I still don’t get those drinkability commercials.

3. I’m beginning to put layers of clothing on today in hopes that my core temperature will be elevated in anticipation of Thursday night’s game. I am really excited about going to see the Bears play the Saints. Unfortunately, a Bears home game in front of the national TV audience is a huge recipe for a complete disaster.

4. I’m glad the Cowboys lost.

5. I said this last week. Can we get a ruling on the Fat Boys Williamses. They should lose their appeal/injunction relief eventually before the season (if they don’t, the NFL’s lawyers need to be fired). If so and the Vikings advance to the playoffs, they will get their behind’s handed to them if the fatties are not playing. Minnesota without Pat Williams is a below average team. How could the NFL let this happen?

6. I was supposed to go to my friend’s son’s 1 year birthday this past Sunday and had planned to. Except said friend had the party at 1pm in direct conflict with the Bears/Jags game. Despite all my best efforts to prioritize friend’s b-day over game, I couldn’t help it. I watched the game until the 3rd quarter when it was clear Bears would win. (a) Either I’m the bad friend or (b) my friend should have his Bears Fan card revoked. J/K W.M. You’re my boy. P.S. thanks for the tickets this Thursday.

7. I went to the Bulls game this Thursday thanks to my other boy W.E. I especially loved the intermissions when they played basketball. But the actual games(s) were just okay. I lost the donut race, but on the bright side I can now get a ½ gallon of Hinckley Schmidt water for free.

8. I finished 5-9 this year in fantasy football. I also set a record for lowest points scored in a season by one team. I’m a complete disgrace. LT brings me nightmares.

9. I really hope that co-contributor (who never contributes) Saginasty doesn’t win our league this year. He still brags about his championship from 2003. I also hope I-truth breaks a hand and can’t field a proper roster in the playoffs. No way he let’s it down that he won a championship before me. I say, Go Mullets!

10. I’m really nervous about this Thursday night game vs. the Saints. Only true fans know what I’m talking about. IF you don’t get sick to your stomach before a big game for one of your teams either (a) you rooted for the MJ Bulls who were going to win no matter what or (b) you aren’t a true fan of your team. I don’t even know why I’m nervous because I know the Bears aren’t a good team anyway. They’re not Super Bowl worthy let alone playoff worthy. But they are still my boys. If any of you read this (none of them do, but maybe Kevin Jones’ does b/c he has nothing to do), please don’t get embarrassed Thursday! Go Bears.

Chicago Bears vs. Jaguars: Dammit Lions!

The St. Louis Cure made its way back this week. The Bears faced another poor team and did what they had to do: win. Unfortunately, the Lions couldn't pull through with a victory over the Vikings. The Bears need to essentially win out and hope the Vikings lose two games (we lose on a tie-breaker with the Vikings because they beat the Falcons and we lost). Anyway...

1. Kyle Orton looked great and bad. He reminds me a little too much of Rex sometimes. But then you also forget that his best WR is Devin Hester, who's best position is as a slot receiver or as the 2nd WR. Orton also kind of reminds me of a third-world country's poor man's Peyton Manning. He's a smart guy who reads the defense, talks a lot at the line of scrimmage, throws an imperfect spiral but still manages to hit receivers, and is kind of weird looking. I guess that's what Orton is: a Tibetan poor man's Peyton Manning.

2. The defense played well today against what is still an okay offense. MJD and that running game are tough to stop. Its a good thing Jacksonville still has not heard of the forward pass.

Players: Forte again. He just does everything. He's already over 1000 rushing yards this year and accounts for over a third of our offense. Devin Hester, DH our Designated Hero. People have been hating on him all year. But he's not a bad WR. His minature size limits his ability to be a #1 WR (man the BEars were stupid to suggest that he was and paid him as such). But, I'd take him as my #2 or slot receiver any day over the cast of characters we have on offense. If we had a legit #1 WR, DH would be even better. To be honest, I'm fine with him just returning punts and being our #2 WR (He did a fine job of it today, minus the muffs). I can't stand the Bears completely relying on special teams to win games.

Lastly, the defense: especially Idonije. Just a solid effort. We'll see what they really have when they play the Saints on thursday.

Haters: Its tough to hate on anyone here. Orton had a so-so game. I didn't like the conservative play calling in the 3rd quarter by Turner either. But all in all, no one played terribly. Well except for Rashied Davis of course. But, you already knew that.

P.S. I'm going to the game on thursday. Anyone have any extra gear left over from their Everest trip?

Plaxico Burress- A Story We’ve Read Far Too Many Times.

(Pictured right- Ryan Boatright committed to USC and then picked a high school. He is 14 years old. The next Plaxico Burress?)

The biggest headline in the world of sports has been Mr. Plaxico Burress. Just a short while ago this was a man who set a Giants franchise record going for 11 receptions and 154 yards in the NFC title game. He followed that effort in the Superbowl catching the winning touchdown to propel his team to the most improbable upset in NFL history. And now this: Friday, November 28, 2008- Burress suffered an accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound to the right thigh in a New York City nightclub when his gun, tucked in the waistband of his sweatpants, began sliding down his leg. You may ask, “What in the world was he thinking?” My response: he wasn’t. Plaxico Burress has never had to think a day in his life and this was certainly not the first time he “shot himself in the foot.”

At 6’6, 235lbs, Plaxico Burress is as athletically gifted as anyone in the game. He seamlessly glides through a football field, snatching balls out of the air with a grace and balance that only few possess. He’s special. And it’s that immense talent that has gotten him where he is today-- An NFL star lacking boundaries headed for prison.

Growing up fatherless in the streets of Virginia Beach, Burress led a life that he describes as similar to the stereotypical black kid from the inner city. Spending his teenage years in a gang and selling drugs, Plax may have been destined for a life filled ONLY with violence and drugs if not for his uncanny ability to run and leap, and catch. His gift gave him a chance to make his way out of the streets of Virginia Beach, but his miserable grades prevented him from signing on to any reputable college program. And so he was forced to pursue a post-graduate high school career at Fork Union Military Academy. He was given this chance because… Plax was special. He could run and leap and catch.

And so he went to Michigan State and broke nearly every receiving record imaginable in only two seasons. On national TV, America could see that this kid was special. NFL teams set up meetings. Plax didn’t show. The night before he was supposed to visit the Pittsburgh Steelers, Burress attended a hotel party in which he admitted that he partied “too hard”. As a result he missed his scheduled meeting with the Steelers coaching staff.

It didn’t matter. He was taken 8^th overall by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 2000 NFL draft. After all, Plax was special. He could run and leap and catch. Eventually, Pittsburgh had enough and Plaxico signed on with the Giants. There he helped the Giants reach and win a Superbowl. Plax was special.

And after the season, Plaxico didn’t feel he was being compensated appropriately. And so he sat out. Plaxico wasn’t going to play if he wasn’t going to get paid like a superstar. Sure, he had had personal problems. In August and September of 2008, New Jersey police responded to two domestic disturbance calls at the Burress household. Both times temporary restraining orders were issued. But that didn’t stop the Giants from giving him a six-year, $25 million deal, which included $8.25 million in guaranteed bonuses, and an initial signing bonus of $5. After all, Plax was special. He could run and leap and catch.

So is it really such a surprise we are where we are today? This is a man who has been coddled since he was a kid- a kid who grew-up without rules. When college recruiters and NFL scouts drool over your ability, there are no boundaries … until you go too far. It appears as though shooting yourself in the leg at a NYC nightclub, lying about your name on legal documents, paying off hospitals, and carrying an unlicensed concealed weapon may have been too far.

So when I listen to sports radio or when I’m watching ESPN, and I hear that same question over and over again, “What was Plaxico thinking?” I can’t help but chuckle. He wasn’t. Like Michael Vick, Maurice Clarett, Lawrence Phillips, and countless others, Plaxico Burress has never had to think a day in his life. My question is, “What were Fork Union Military Academy, Michigan State, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and New York Giants thinking?”

On December 2, 2008, Burress posted bail of $100,000. He is scheduled to return to court on March 31, 2009 to enter a plea.

So Far Vinny Del Negro is a mediocre coach

Before I get into the negatives, I will praise Del Negro for getting a poor Bulls team to 7-9. Going 3-4 on the Circus trip might be harder than the Bulls getting into the playoffs. It appears that even the disgrunted Bulls of last year (Deng, Gordon, etc.) like him. More importantly, they are playing hard for the guy. In the modern NBA, players who play for their coaches are a rarity. So props to From Black for that.

Lastly, if Del Negro was training to be a lawyer, he would still be in grade school. The guy has never coached (anyone) . So I will give him some credit for stepping in as an amateur coach to the big leagues.

But...................... To be honest, I don't care. Call me crazy, but I want my coaches to be great on day one. Its not like we're picking coaches one year out of high school. For as much as I loved John Paxson as a player, he has essentially picked "Mini-Me" as his coaches. Like Paxson, Skiles and Del Negro were all over-achieving (and yes, white) point guards. Which is fine, but we already have one of those as a player in Hinrich. It doesn't follow that we also need coaches that fit Paxson's playing profile.

But that's besides the point. Currently, the Bulls have no offensive system. Could you imagine what would happen if Derrick Rose wasn't on the Bulls? As I've said before Rose is a one man army. He is the offense. However, even with his magic, the Bulls oftentimes find themselves playing one-on-one offense with players like Deng, Gooden and Gordon forcing shots. Also, I still don't think that Del Negro has gotten the most out of Rose. In addition to scoring his points, Del Negro needs to get Rose into positions to share the rock. The offense isn't going through his hands enough. And that's just on the offensive end.

I've written repeatedly that the offense first philosophy of the Bulls will never win them Championships. Defense wins Championships. Just ask the Lakers and Suns. The 90's Bulls, the Duncan Spurs, the Billups Pistons and the Garnet Celtics all won because of great defense. At times, Del Negro has trotted out the following lineups- Rose, Gordon, Hughes, Deng and Gooden. These players couldn't stop a cab at the Peninsula's cap stand. I get that the Bulls want to field a smaller lineup to push the tempo. But you can't push the tempo, if the other team keeps on scoring on you. Fast break teams work when they create turnovers and convert defensive rebounds to fast break opportunities.

Now, there is one flaw with my argument that I haven't credited. Del Negro's other option is to field a lineup of Noah, Gooden or Tyrus, Deng, Hughes/Tabo and Rose. Its not terrible, but these guys can't score. Noah and Tabo have no offensive game. Still, I wonder if a lineup of Noah, Tyrus, Deng, Hughes and Rose could stop people and also convert fast break opportunities into points.

I don't want to close the book on Del Negro just yet. Its still early. And despite his lack of a resume, any coach would still be adjusting to a new team with new players. Ironically, Del Negro's legacy could rest with decisions Paxson makes. The glut of under-performing and short SGs (Gordon, Hinrich, Tabo and Hughes) can't stay for too long. To compete consistently, hopefully some of those guys leave to make room for a true low post scorer or a legit SG. Then we'll see what Del Negro's really got.

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Extra, Extra

1. Jarred Allen has to be the ugliest football player I have ever seen. What was with his half shaved, half long Mullet? I guess when you’re ugly, you might as well go all out on the ugly. There must be some psychological threshold that once you’re past a certain point of ugly, people just tend to see you as having a weird haircut, instead of looking at your beat down face. I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on with Youkim Noah and Drew Gooden.

2. I wonder when the Fat Boy Williamses of the Vikings will get suspended. At this rate, I’m guessing it happens in the year 2012. I don’t understand why it takes 4 months for an NFL suspension to take effect. I understand the due process rights of the players and the right to appeal a decision. But it shouldn’t take longer than an actual court case to figure these things out.

3. The Bears need to erase the fullback hand-off from their playbook.

4. I can’t figure out if the Beyonce Direct TV commercial is a parody or a legit commercial. Surely, it’s a parody right? It’s absurd with the bling, large “upgrade” necklace, and Beyonce’s half naked body. But, there’s a slim chance that they think this is a proper commercial, right? I mean her music videos are even more exaggerated and ridiculous then the commercial. I just don’t know. Pleasant on the eyes, but very confusing.

5. I also can’t stand the Subway foot-long commercial. It’s as annoying as five, 3 year olds at Thanksgiving dinner. In fact, you’re probably singing the dumb song right now. “Five dollar…. five dollar… five dollar- foot loonngg”. Plus, there is clearly a homoerotic thing going on.

6. Plexiglas’s accidental gunshot wound provides further support why I will never own a gun. The off chance that your gun will go off and strike your livelihood while it rests on your waist, seals the debate for me. I’ll take my chances with my fists (let’s be honest, my running ability or cat like reflexes) versus having a penis shooting canon on my waist.

7. Did anyone else notice that the NBC Football Night in America and halftime show are just one long advertisement? They’re not even pretending to conceal it. Its right out there. Hawks vs. Red Wings at Wrigley, Howie Mandel dumb show # 2, the stupid Heroes promos, and some other completely stupid show plug in. It’s embarrassing. Some of the best on air talent we have: Costas, Collinsworth, Dan Patrick, Olberman have become actors in a one hour infomercial for NBC TV.

8. I keep hearing commentators saying that the Giants should de-activate PlexiGlas for the year after his shooting incident. I don’t completely understand this. I can see them wanting to part ways after the season. But they are Super Bowl bound and definitely a better team with PlexiGlass. I don’t really want to defend him, but isn’t a bullet in his thigh punishment enough? Unless he can’t play this year because of the wound, I just don’t get the hatred towards the guy. Didn’t Jared Allen get arrested 3 times in the span of 2 years for DUIs? Isn’t that ten times worse than what PlexiGlas has done this year? I wonder if commentators would suggest that Jared Allen be kicked off the team if he accidently shot himself. I know what your saying: its different because PlexiGlas has been a malcontent this year to the Giants. But, isn’t 3 DUIs worse than being late for a team meeting? I don’t know. I just think it’s a little unwarranted and premature to argue that he should be kicked off the team. He is stupid though.

9. Can we put the Kurt Warner for MVP argument to rest? He is (was) playing great. But, did we forget that he still plays for Arizona? How does an average Arizona team have a leading candidate for MVP? This is another example of the 5 minute memory going into effect. We’ve somehow forgotten that the Cardinals are one of the worst franchises in sports history. MVPs should be given to players who play for top performing teams, which would exclude the Arizona Cardinals.

10. At the start of the season, I complained that Mark Bradley should have been playing more reps versus guys like Rashied Davis and Marty Booker. I thought that Bradley had more upside, despite his injury history. Mark Bradley was eventually cut by the Bears and was picked up by the Kansas City (one of the worst teams in the NFL). Despite playing roughly half the games as Booker and Davis, Bradley has put up over 300 yards receiving and 3 TDs (in 5 games). Booker? 183 yards and 2 TDs (in a full season). Davis? 396 yards and 2 TDs (in a full season). So the Bears cut (not even traded) a WR who is much more productive per game. Instead, they kept two underperforming players: One on the last leg of his career and the other should still be playing arena football. Actions like these by the Bears management make me question my loyalty to this franchise.


Extra:

1. Peter King didn’t say one word about the Vikings and Bears in his MMQ (except for his power rankings). I seriously believe that he hates the Bears for some reason. We didn’t even get a bashing for our stupid offensive play calling.

2. Lebron James’ talcum powder commercial threatens Budweiser’s “Drinkability” commercial for the current worst commercial award. First, Lebron completely stole his talcum powder pregame ritual from MJ and Pippen. But of course, he had to make it his own by stupidly pouring a gallon of powder on his hands and throwing it in the air. Seriously, one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. Then Nike tries to glorify it with the most insane and random commercial ever. People are just throwing talcum powder on themselves? Cut to the scene of powder on a donut? Then to a scene with a girl with powder on her face. Then, random people clapping with fistfuls of powder in their hands. Just terrible.

3. Follow up on the Budweiser Drinkability commercial. Budweiser ran an ad this Sunday explaining a survey which asked people to describe what “drinkability” meant to them. Some people said that it meant that the drink went down easily, or it felt good going down, and some other random answers (which only proves how stupid the commercial was). Then Bud explained that drinkability meant none of these things. Instead, it simply means that Budweiser tastes better. Are you f’n kidding me? Drinkability means that it tastes better? Yeah, that makes sense. Even worse, for some reason these retarded commercials have random drawings attached to people (a large baseball glove drawn in white outline to a real character playing baseball). How this has anything to do with drinkability or “tasting better” I have no idea. I also presume Bud also has no idea.

4. Lance Armstrong is going to Race in the 2009 Tour de France. Lance should talk to someone who cares. Notify me when he’s dating someone hot again.

5. Proponents of the BCS (also known as the Cavemen from the Geiko Commercials) argue that some games and conference championships are a de facto playoff system. Funny, I thought they said playoffs were a bad thing. Secondly, it’s not a playoff if the winner is not guaranteed to advance to the BCS Championship Game (i.e. Missouri isn’t advancing if it wins the Big 12 Title game).

6. I’m on fire today with my thoughts. Must have been the all the food I ate this past weekend.

7. Pumpkin Pie is underrated. I still remember the first time I had it. I was in 1st grade. I had never seen such a strange dessert before. Oh so delicious. The creaminess, the pumpkin flavor, the sweetness of the whipped cream, and the delicate touch of cinnamon and nutmeg. Mmmm.

8. Detroit should be relegated to playing itself on Thanksgiving Day at a random suburban Michigan family’s lawn, with 5 people watching. And, it should not be telecast anywhere.

9. What in the world is going on with Thomas Jones? I thought he was an average RB with the Bears. I actually still think he is. That Jets OL is opening him up some giant holes. Plus, I think just having Brett Favre back there makes teams back off and respect the passing game.

Derrick "the Bermuda Rose" Killer Cross Over on Andre Miller and olley oop!

Chicago Bears vs. Vikings: Coaches Lose Games

I like the old saying, "Coaches don't win games, they lose games" because its perfectly applicable to the Chicago Bears and their coaching staff. First, let me repeat something I said in disgust at the start of the season: the Chicago Bears will never, ever win a Super Bowl with Lovie Smith (and Angelo) as the head coach. Never. Well, not unless he is given the most talented players in the NFL to fool around with. Lovie Smith is just plain, old okay most of the time. The players seem to like him. But that's really it. He is rarely going to out coach the other team. He doesn't really bring anything extra as a head coach (Cover 2 doesn't count because you could just hire a Cover 2 guy as a defensive coordinator. And the Cover 2 sucks). Lastly, I just can't stand to look at him anymore. I can't tolerate that blank face that screams, "I am doing nothing here. Don't look here. Nothing is happening". (See picture above).

Regardless, despite Lovie Smith's mediocraty. Ron Turner and his idiotic hand off to the practice squad fullback has to go down as one of the worst calls I have ever seen. For some reason, Turner is in love with the FB hand off despite overwhelming empirical evidence that it has repeatedly failed. If your going to run the ball, give it to Forte. Don't give it to your back up fullback for a middle-run against the fat boys Williams!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Sorry, I'm back. The decision to go for it on 4th down is okay (although clearly kicking the ball would have been better). But trying to go down the middle on two consecutive plays is just downright foolish, inadequate and irresponsible on Turner's part. But let's move on before my head explodes.

1. The Real Adrien Peterson is absolutely brilliant. I've never seen a guy run that hard and mean since Walter Payton. He's just a beast. He made our defenders look like Tyrus Thomas and Y. Noah.

2. I hate Minnesota. Just hate everything about them. The gayish purple colors. The f'n dome. The fat boy Williamses. I can't stand them.

3. Kyle Orton looks a lot like Rex Grossman. I'm not going to totally fall off his wagon, but he hasn't gotten it done since the ankle injury. Of course it doesn't help when your throwing the ball to the fake Adrien Peterson and Rashid Davis. Nor does it help that your OL got its ass handed to them.

Players: Matt Forte. He does everything. We should just call him "Jack", as in Jack of all trades. I'm pretty sure he could also be our best QB and safety in addition to being our best RB and WR. Other game balls go to Lance Briggs and Mike Brown. Not because they played great or anything, but because they just play 100%. Briggs was getting his behind beat by the Vikings OL and the Real AP, but he just kept on giving a total effort. Again, respect.

Haters: Charles Tillman gets the award for worst defensive play by a veteran CB making a lot of money. Completely inexcusable. Berrian's only route is the go-route. What he was doing on that play, only god knows. Kyle Orton see (3) above. The Bears OL. And of course, the Bears coaching staff.