Tuesday Morning Thoughts: $5 Dollar Footlong..

TMTs

1. Why does Orton have to be so ugly and goofy looking? I mean I’m straight and all and QBs’ looks shouldn’t matter. But they do. All the greats: Montana, Marino, Brady, Favre, etc., weren’t fugly like Orton. I wonder if we ran a regression on NFL QBs looks and QB ratings, if we would find a direct correlation between fugly and poor passer rating. Anyway. No homo here of course.

2. 5 Dollar foot-long. It easy pretty annoying. I still don’t get those drinkability commercials.

3. I’m beginning to put layers of clothing on today in hopes that my core temperature will be elevated in anticipation of Thursday night’s game. I am really excited about going to see the Bears play the Saints. Unfortunately, a Bears home game in front of the national TV audience is a huge recipe for a complete disaster.

4. I’m glad the Cowboys lost.

5. I said this last week. Can we get a ruling on the Fat Boys Williamses. They should lose their appeal/injunction relief eventually before the season (if they don’t, the NFL’s lawyers need to be fired). If so and the Vikings advance to the playoffs, they will get their behind’s handed to them if the fatties are not playing. Minnesota without Pat Williams is a below average team. How could the NFL let this happen?

6. I was supposed to go to my friend’s son’s 1 year birthday this past Sunday and had planned to. Except said friend had the party at 1pm in direct conflict with the Bears/Jags game. Despite all my best efforts to prioritize friend’s b-day over game, I couldn’t help it. I watched the game until the 3rd quarter when it was clear Bears would win. (a) Either I’m the bad friend or (b) my friend should have his Bears Fan card revoked. J/K W.M. You’re my boy. P.S. thanks for the tickets this Thursday.

7. I went to the Bulls game this Thursday thanks to my other boy W.E. I especially loved the intermissions when they played basketball. But the actual games(s) were just okay. I lost the donut race, but on the bright side I can now get a ½ gallon of Hinckley Schmidt water for free.

8. I finished 5-9 this year in fantasy football. I also set a record for lowest points scored in a season by one team. I’m a complete disgrace. LT brings me nightmares.

9. I really hope that co-contributor (who never contributes) Saginasty doesn’t win our league this year. He still brags about his championship from 2003. I also hope I-truth breaks a hand and can’t field a proper roster in the playoffs. No way he let’s it down that he won a championship before me. I say, Go Mullets!

10. I’m really nervous about this Thursday night game vs. the Saints. Only true fans know what I’m talking about. IF you don’t get sick to your stomach before a big game for one of your teams either (a) you rooted for the MJ Bulls who were going to win no matter what or (b) you aren’t a true fan of your team. I don’t even know why I’m nervous because I know the Bears aren’t a good team anyway. They’re not Super Bowl worthy let alone playoff worthy. But they are still my boys. If any of you read this (none of them do, but maybe Kevin Jones’ does b/c he has nothing to do), please don’t get embarrassed Thursday! Go Bears.