Hester Superman or Superhyped?

The Bears signed Devin Hester, aka DH, AKA our Designated Hero, to a deal up to 40 million dollars. Its great. Devin's happy. I am happy. Bears' nation rejoices. But, something still bugs me about the way this all went down. It made me think of iTruth's criticism of the Bears he expressed last Tuesday when DH didn't report to camp, "I don't get the Bears. They constantly degrade opposing players on other teams as an excuse for not bringing in marquee free agents. Then the Bears start glorifying their unproven and often mediocre players on the roster. This just leads to our players, thinking that they are great and demanding large contracts".

iTruth's right to the extent that the Bears seem to always over-rate their players. Examples include, Grossman, Orton, Daniel Manning, the fake Adrien Peterson, Benson, Rashid Davis, and even Devin Hester to a smaller extent. I get a headache every time Lovie proclaims, "I like the players we got". As if the 500 other NFL players belong on the Indiana Hoosiers' football team. You never hear them say the same great things about how great Randy Moss or other proven top tier talent could help us. No, instead we glorify a kick returner, who used to be a corner, hoping to turn all-pro WR. A jump like Hester's hasn't happened since MJ took off from the free throw line.

This doesn't mean that I think Devin Hester's a bad player. Its clear, he is a great and possibly the best KR/PR the game has ever seen. The problem, we have no idea if he is a #1 WR, let alone an NFL caliber receiver. However, the Bears evidently do, constantly singing his praise and listing him as a starting WR at the start of camp before the holdout. So, you can't blame Hester from asking to be paid like a #1 WR. When your head coach and WR's coach praise you as if you're the next Steve Smith, then you should ask to be paid like Steve Smith.

Even worse, reports from the Tribune and SunTimes have written that Lovie Smith and Daryl Drake (the Bears WR coach) were instrumental in getting Hester's new deal done by offering their support for the receiver. This might be harsh, but your head coach and position coach shouldn't act like Drew Rosenhaus as an agent for the player. Ask yourself, would the two Bills, Bill Parcells or Bill Belichick ever do this? I doubt it. Instead, they would likely distance themselves from the situation and either a) pretend like the player never existed or b) put em on the next train out of Bourbanais.

I am excited that our Designated Hero is a Bear. I am hopeful he'll turn into the next Steve Smith. But, I also wish our coaching staff would act like the two Bills.

5 things that need to happen for Bears.

1. Identify a go to WR. Whether its Rexy or Orton (Orton needs a nickname, I'll call him Shaggy b/c of his hippie beard for now), one of these guys needs a target to throw the ball to. Since we have no stable WRs, I think its got to be Greg Olsen. Think about it. San Diego has zero WRs, but they've got Antonio Gates. Although Olsen, probably isn't Gates, he's got great upside. If the Bears are to be succesful, G -Reg of the 7th floor crew has got to step it up. What's your name? G-Reg! What you do? Get head! Alright enough of that.

2. Get Chris Williams in camp. So let me get this straight, you gave Urlacher his money. Whatever fine. You locked up Tommie Harris. Great! You gave Alex Brown more money. Okay. You signed Lance Briggs. Great b/c he got ripped off. So can we now sign the guy who's going to protect Rexy or Shaggy?

3. Let Devin Hester do EVERYTHING. I know logic says that he may get hurt. Well, he may get hurt returning kicks too. He may get hurt walking down a flight of stairs. Bears should use him as 2nd WR, slot WR, running back, KR, PR, and even QB at some point. This is crazy. But the Bears need some crazy. They are the Fox News (conservative) of the NFL. Lighten it up a little bit. Go a little Daily Show on us once in a while. Lovie Smith, you don't have to act like Denzel. Let loose, get a little Samuel L on us. A little, "Samuel Jackson, that's my Beer Bitch! Drink it! kind of stuff.

4. Clone Mike Brown and hope that his double matures in time to provide a replacement for his hip, foot, knee, ankle, arm, head, etc. I love Mike Brown. He definetly has got a little crazy in him. He seems reserved, but there is a little bit of that KG "Anything's possible!" in him. Unfortunately, its any kind of injury is possible with Mike Brown. So, empirically speaking, on average Mike Brown plays 2 games a year. Thus, Bears need to clone Mike Brown for replaceable body parts. I know, unlikely, but it could be money well spent.

5. I've harped on this before. But name your staring QB already. If you don't know whether Rexy or Shaggy is better by now, than you have obviosly been taking a vacation for the past 3 years. Don't, I repeat don't wait a few more weeks to name your staring QB for the season. I can see waiting one week of training camp, but after that this offense with all new playmakers needs to come together. And this can't happen without your staring QB.

Q&A on Chicago Bears. Should they get Cullpepper or Leftwich? What will it take for Bears to win?

The following is a Q&A on the Bears. Excuse the grammar as this was done on IM with iTruth.

iTruth: yo, why don’t the Bears get Daunte Cullpepper or Brian Leftwich?

DaChiFan: yo. I'd like the Daunte Cullpeper who threw for 40tds a few years ago, not the current Daunte. And Leftwitch sucks. You can't have that sort of long delivery in the NFL.

iTruth: dude there’s only 2 or 3 qb's that are actually good the rest are based on their receiver but at least culpepper is big and fast

DaChiFan: true. If you read my fanion post, you would see I agree.

iTruth: why don’t they bring in daunte?

DaChiFan: I think the question is, why doesn't any team bring in Daunte? There must be something else going on, like attitude or something.

iTruth: i think orton is terrible, terrible, terrible

DaChiFan: PS. F. Brian Urlacher, Bears needs to sign their 1st round draft pick OT, if they have any chance

iTruth: i heard that chris williams guy kinda sucks

DaChiFan: WHAT! That’s more troubling than the QB situation if true

iTruth: i heard he's not good

DaChiFan From who? That’s ridiculous, he hasn't played one NFL snap yet.

ITruth: from the radio. i heard that the other guys were better choices, but we went with the "nice guy"

DaChiFan: If it was Chicago sports radio, then it means nothing

ITruth: yah, i guess but he doesn’t look tight, ya know

DaChiFan: Yeah, he doesn’t look tight enough I agree. Seems a little pudgy. I like my OTs to be tight.

ITruth: they have to be BIG like jonathon ogden, tony boselli?

DaChiFan: The guy from Who's the Boss? J/K. I'm getting so f'in excited b/c football is just around the corner

ITruth: I'm just saying, if you're gonna go out and spend a first round draft pick on a O-lineman. He better be really, really angry

DaChiFan: But Olin Kreutz is angry, and that really hasn't gotten us anywhere except -5 yards or -10 yards on holding penalties

ITruth: but he's good

DaChiFan: Overrated

ITruth: no, he's solid... he just gets frustrated cuz we suck and does dumb stuff

DaChiFan: yes, getting called for offsides as a center is dumb.

ITruth: what do you think of eric parker from the chargers?

DaChiFan: Don't really know him. So I don't really have an idea. But, you do realize we have Rashid Davis on our team. He's going to be great! SARCASM.

ITruth: i don’t think our WRs are gonna be terrible. i think our running game will be horrendous and our pass protection will be woeful.

DaChiFan: Agreed, but our running game will be horrendous because of our mediocre WRs and woeful OL. Every team is going to stack the box and Forte will look a lot like Benson, even though he's probably better.

ITruth: They just don’t have weapons and you cant win without weapons.

DaChiFan: Easy TO! And, Don't forget about the Fake Adrien Peterson. Haha.

ITruth: if you put Grossman on the Patriots, they'd win 12 games t his year. you say that... but wherever TO goes, his team wins. it's not tony romo... it's TO and jason witten

DaChiFan: TO did look dope at the ESPYs. Do you think our Defense gets back to its dominate form again?

ITruth: I think for 2 weeks until Mike Brown gets hurt again. I mean, it's very clear
Great teams have a great O-line on offense and on DEF they have a star pass rusher and an excellent safety. That’s the formula. If you can get a left tackle, Defensive end, and a great safety you can compete in the NFL

DaChiFan True. Bears don't have a great left tackle, they have okay DEs, and a good safety in Brown (again until week 2).

ITruth: but the point is, the bears aren’t solidifying the right positions. They're paying urlacher and briggs at linebacker. They paid Tommie Harris (who's amazing) at DT. And although these are great players, they aren't the guys you need to be a great team. I dunno. You can't go into camp having questions about 2-3 guys on your O-line, and having no clue who your WRs are gonna be

DaChiFan: Again, we are in agreement. Way too many questions in camp. Is Hester a WR? Who's our QB? Who's our starting left guard and left tackle and will Mike Brown last more than 2 weeks. However, I think a strong DT is also a key thing. It is really the lines (both OT and DT). To the Bears credit, they did go out and get a 1st round OT. The only thing they lack according to your logic is a consistent safety.

ITruth: no man. DT isn’t a huge deal. It’s a luxury

DaChiFan: One last thing, I think having a QB controversy is idiotic. Don't offensives succeed because of timing. Which presumably would require your offense to practice together, which would require you to have one QB with the 1st team offense for all of training camp? If I am Lovie, I name my starter now. Gets some guts and can go against the dumb popular thing to have a QB controversy. It’s not good for your team. You need one QB to run an offense. Plus, if you don't know whether Grossman or Orton is better by now (whats it been 3-5 years?), than you should be sitting here writing this dumb post, and someone else should be running that team.

ITruth: it doesn’t matter. i'm glad we didn’t get tickets this year. i gotta go.

DaChiFan. Answer the question first

ITruth: some guy tried to jump out the window. But, yah you need timing; you need intelligent players; you need a scheme; and you need something other than a bears helmet

DaChiFan: Okay, you probably should check out the guy jumping out the window now.

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Bears Training Camp Q&A, with myself

Its close to training camp time and because this town is void of any meaningful insight on the Bears and their upcoming season (and no, I don't consider Chalk Talk on Chicagobears.com or a Mariotti Column on Grossman/Orton as meaningful insight), I am going to answer my own questions. Pathetic, I know, but I need a break.

1. Does it matter who starts at QB?
Answer, no. iTruth and I have come to agree that absent a hall of famer like Marino or Elway, generally, as long as your QB is a legitimate 1st or 2nd string NFL QB, it doesn't really matter who your QB is . What matters is (1) if your O-line can protect the QB and (2) if you have WRs that can get open (and 3 to a lesser extent whether you can run the ball which makes it easier to pass. But in that case, look at your O-line again).

For example, I remember watching the Browns play last year against the Bears in pre-season. The only positive of that game, if you were a Browns fan, was Brady Quinn throwing a couple of complete passes. No one cared too much of Charlie Frye or D. Anderson. Remember, Charlie Frye was the Browns # 1 QB to start the season. So what happens? Frye has a bad game and the Browns new and improved O-line decide to block. All of a sudden a below average QB in Derek Anderson becomes a pro-bowl QB. Unless Derek Anderson improved 150% in one week due to some miracle work out regimen, Anderson became a good QB because of better pass protection. Plus, it doesn't hurt when you can pass to Braylon Edwards and K. Winslow. (For other examples, guys like Kurt Warner, Marc Bulger, MAtt Hasselback, Brett FAvre, etc. have such inconsistent years, I believe more so because of inconsistent pass protection and not their inherent inconsistent QB play. Doesn't it make more sense that Bret Favre is always Bret Favre and the difference b/n a 20 interception season and a 10 int. season is his pass protection, among other externalities?)

In the Bears case, what matters not is Grossman or Orton (I believe at the very least they are legitimate # 2 QBs in this league), but how our O-line can protect and our WRs can get open.

2. Can our O-line protect and WRs get open?
Ummmmm, probably no. Rookie left tackles, guards playing with no ACL, and John St. Clair or Metcalf as a starting guard, don't make good offensive lines. Worse, when every chicago newspaper man's highest praise for a wide receiver is Rashid Davis, you know you have some issues. Rashid Davis? Seriously, don't these morons hype him up every off season? Its like they bought RD on the stock market and have an option to exercise if his catch total goes over 100 receptions. Take my advice, sell RD now! Arena league football players who haven't done anything in their brief NFL careers are not going to turn into pro-bowlers. Just a hunch.


3. Do the Bears have any shot in making the playoffs?
About a 1 in a million chance. So as Jim Carey in dumb in dumber would say-- so you're telling me we got a chance! Thus, unfortunately the Bears do have a chance at making the playoffs. I say unfortunately because if the Bears make the post-season, its likely because they go 8-8 or 9-7, and only win games because of Devin Hester kick/punt returns or crazy miracles like the 2001 season when seemingly everything went their way (beat Browns by hail mary pass caught by James Allen). What happened to that team? They got beat by Philly in their first game of the playoffs.

I hope this isn't the case and the Bears Defense dominates and Ryle Grosston becomes the next Derek Anderson. But objectively speaking, this seems unlikely.

4. Do we have any hope?
Its been a rather half glass empty kind of post (which is terrible considering this is the offseason), so I got to give a little "hope is the essence of man" type material. Thus, here's my hope(wish) list.
- Matt Forte is the next great Chicago RB
- Devin Hester is really a greek god and can play WR, QB, and safety
- Brian Urlacher isn't getting old
-Williams is a legit 1st round OT talent
-Mike Brown doesn't get hurt
- Olin Kreutz doesn't' get called for 20 + offsides calls (I simply don't understand this)
- And Lovie Smith turns into Belicheck (without the cheating of course).

Wow, that was still pretty pessimistic. This can't be a good sign. You should probably check out Larry Mayer at chicagobears.com for some blind hope.

Top Ten Most Hated Players

Its the dog days of summer. There is nothing to write about, except baseball. (Don't worry once SagiNasty gets off his ass, we will have a baseball story). So, I thought I would put together a top ten list. So here is a list of my top ten most hated athletes.

10. James Posey- Heat Days.
This isn't so much hate for Posey as it is for Pat Riley. Has anyone made the game of basketball more ugly than Mr. Riley? After leaving the Lakers, he went on a "I am going to make basketball ugly" campaign by asking his less talented players to beat the shit out of the opposing team. After his NY Knicks days he took that act to Miami. And in Miami, after playing GM, Coach, GM, and then Coach asked James Posey to be the new Bill Lambeer. Posey, the dog that he is, then went and literally beat up Kirk Hinrich and every Bulls player going for an open layup in the 2006 season.

9. Kobe Bryant
Kobe is the best player in the NBA (right now). He plays hard, plays good defense, is unstoppable in stretches and is otherwise a well-spoken person. Basically, he has all the traits that I like about a basketball player. So why do I hate him? I don't know, I just do. Its the same kind of hate you feel for the opposing presidential candidate (i.e. H. Clinton). You can't articulate it, but its just there. And Kobe is just there, sitting with his ugly slant face in the "hate" section of my cerebral cortex.

8. That Packers DE who randomly picked up Jim McMahon and dumped him on his shoulder.
Evidently back then league rules allowed NFL players to wear a towel listing QBs that "you were going to kill" on the playing field. I know McMahon wasn't Elway, but he was the best we had. I think Steve Fuller or Mike Tomzack came in the game after that starting the end of Bears football as we know it.

7. Sammy Sosa.
Not because of the obvious steroid issue, but because of his stupid thing he did after each home run.

6. The entire Minnesota Vikings.
This should be the Packers, but its the Vikings who always beat us up in the 90's. I hate their purple colors, their use of a Dome, and Chris Carter.

5-3. The Detroit Pistons, especially Isiah Thomas, Dennis Rodman (pre-bulls), Bill Lambeer, Joe Dumars, Chauncey Billups, Rip Hamilton, Tayshawn Prince, Chuck Daly, and Ben Wallace.
Isiah Thomas- Will be most remembered for being a sore loser and not shaking the hands' of Bulls players. And oh yeah, for being a terrible GM and coach.
Dennis Rodman- For being Dennis Rodman (Pre-Bulls mind you. Loved him as a Bull)
Bill Lambeer- Do I even have to state a reason?
Joe Dumars- I actually like Dumars. But he is guilty by association. Thus, I hate him.
Chauncy Billups. Chauncey acts like he is entitled to something. He just seems so cocky for someone who really isn't that great. He can hit a great shot or two in pressure situations, but he doesn't make anyone on his team better, which for a point guard is incriminating.
Rip Hamilton- Ugly, rat looking corn row with unnecessary facial mask. Enough said.
Tayshawn Prince- Dead man walking. A very underrated player, but again I hate him by association.
Chuck Daly- Along with Pat Riley, no one has made the NBA game uglier than Mr. Daly.
Ben Wallace- Failed attempt as Bulls player. Worst basketball player to ever play.

2. Lebron James because he isn't the King.
This is unfair because James is a good player. But he is overrated. If you were an immigrant coming to America and turned on to watch the NBA, the only logical conclusion you could make is that LeBron James is the Father, the Son, and the Basketball spirit. NEver has anyone accomplished so little, and been given so much. So this hate is more about the NBA and its marketing of unproven players than Lebron.

1. Bob Knight and Mike Ditka.
Arrogant, rude, crude, asshole, disrespectful, hypocritical, not knowing when to quit, egomaniac. These terms adequately describe these two men. Worse, stupid people love to categorize them as role models. I know this, if I had a basketball prodigy son, I would never allow them to play for Mr. Bobby Knight. Moreover, if I were an NFL owner or TV executive I would never hire Mr. Ditka.

I'm going back to denim shorts

In other news, Brett Favre, the former Green Bay Packers Quarterback announced yesterday that he wanted to go back to wearing Denim Jean shorts. "I just think its time that i went back to the thing I love.. And for me its Denim Jean Shorts", said Brett at his Mississippi home. Favre added that while he made the decision to not wear denim shorts back in May, he now realizes that he just has too much love for the material not to wear them on hot summer nights. Still indecisive, Favre hadn't reached a decision on whether he would add a roll to the end of the jeans or just leave them flat.

If I were Lovie

Don't worry, we'll be posting some Baseball talk in the next couple of weeks. But for now, I wanted to discuss some Bears. I know its July, but I can't resist. So.. If I were Lovie Smith, I would start the following players on opening day.

QB. Rex Grossman. Ugh, I know. But the way I see it, Orton makes us a an 8-8 team and at best a 9-7 team that loses in the wild-card round of the playoffs. Not since Baltimore's fluke year (which hasn't been repeated since then) has a team won the Super bowl relying on solely its defense and a "don't do anything that might hurt us QB". Rex has his problems and is a risk. But with risk comes reward. Rex gets us a 5-11 record or a 11-5 record. I'll take the upside instead of a no-risk mediocre game plan.

RB. Mat Forte. The only time I want to see The Fake Adrien Peterson running with the ball is when he picks up a fumble on special teams coverage. Its really not that hard. Play Forte on 1st and 2nd down and use Garret Wolfe as a change of pace 3rd down back.

WRs. Wow soo many great ones to choose from. There was a reason why we got rid of Marty Booker in the first place- he's not that good. I start Mark Bradley (if healthy he is our best WR) and a combo of Brandon Lloyd/Earl Bennet/ or Rashied Davis at the 2nd spot. I then bring in Devin Hester as the 3rd wide receiver. I am not sold yet on having him as the #2 receiver. However, if the Windy City Flier can handle it I say get him on the field, often. As for Marty Booker, he's a good insurance policy once Bradley's knee gives out in the 2nd preseason game.

OL- Tait, Garza, Kreutz, someone other than metcalf, Chris Williams. Lets hope Williams grows up fast. At least for Grossman's sake.

TE. Greg Olson and Clark (With the M.State guy backing them up). As for Olson, he should be on the field every down. He is our best receiving option.

Defense.
Ogunleye, Harris, Dusty (Marcus Harrison once Dusty's foot breaks) and Alex Brown. We then shuffle in Anderson, Bazuin (if he exists), and Idonije. For once, I actually really like what the Bears have on the DL line. A little question of depth on the DT spot, but if T.Harris is healthy we'll be dominant up there.

LB- Briggs, Urlacher, Someone other than Hunter. Hunter is actually an underrated player. He's not bad, but also not good. Again, I am going with a high risk approach this year. I would like to see Jamar Williams take over this spot. I think he's got great potential, but has never been given the opportunity. Plus, I don't think Hunter is suited for the Cover 2 defense.

CB- Tillman, Vasher and R. Manning. R. MAnning isn't good enough to play the outside corner spots, but he is really good at the slot spot. I know Lovie doesn't like him and wants D. Manning to take this over. But, have you seen D. Manning play? To put this lightly, he F'in sucks.

S- Mike Brown (with the inevitable Craig Steltz filling in for him in Week 2 once Brown breaks his pelvis) and a combination of Kevin Payne/Brandon McGown/Steltz on the other side. This is by far our weakest position, which isn't good for a Cover 2 defense that relies on great safeties to cover a lot of ground. When healthy Brown is atop tier safety in this league. The problem for Brown is that "when healthy" means 2 weeks. Steltz or Payne need to grow up quick.

Special Teams. Devin Hester, Devin Hester and Devin Hester. Should there even by a question of whether Devin Hester should be returning every punt/kick off?