Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Masters

Thoughts on the Masters, Manny Ramirez and the Chicago Bulls.

1. It is still cold outside and watching a game at Wrigley or that place on the south side won’t be fun. The big weekend event was the Masters. Which to say the least, is about as entertaining as watching fat women bowl (see picture). But, I guess we still have a Bulls playoff loss to look forward to. It’s almost the boring season.

2. Where does Manny Ramirez get that extra-large baseball cap with no bill from? Why is he so set on keeping his dreads in the cap? It looks like he’s storing a chicken on his head. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had two heads.

3. Someone not named Tiger Woods won the Masters. I think some baseball player named Angel Cabrera won it.

4. Listening to the radio, it was suggested that the Master’s runner up, Kenny Perry, who at 48 years old, had a lot left in him. The commentator suggested that while Perry wasn’t in great shape and wasn’t as an imposing figure, he still could compete. The radio man also felt sympathy for Perry for coming up short. The question I have is, why isn’t Perry in great shape or working out? Assuming that golfers are better when they are in shape (think Tiger Woods), would it hurt them to stop eating $50 steaks? It’s not like they work 90 hour weeks and don’t have time for good healthy meals. They are golfers for goodness sake. They’re job is leisure. You would think Perry or any other out of shape golfers would have time to work out. I’m not arguing that Perry become an NFL safety or take roids to get better, just that it probably wouldn’t hurt to lay off the ham and cheese breakfast sandwich and lift a few weights. So if the assumption is correct that being in better shape will help your golf game (even if just a little), why should I feel sympathy for Perry? Maybe he should take his job seriously and work out. Tiger does it. Of course, maybe you don’t have to in good shape, athletic or a work out warrior to be a great golfer. Fine. But if that’s the case, why would someone watch golf?

5. When does Bears’ training camp start? I can’t wait to see Cutler in a Bears’ uniform.

6. The Cubs are 5-2 and the Sox are 4-3. I don’t know what this means because both teams have 150ish games remaining to be played.

7. I really, really like this Salmons kid. My father, an avid Bulls’ fan was out of the country for about 3months without connection to the Bulls’ happenings. You can imagine his surprise when coming back to watch a revamped Bulls’ lead by Salmons, a guy that (a) wasn’t on the Bulls when he left and (b) someone my father has never heard of (and I suggest 90% of basketball fans have never heard of). It’s quite rare that a team trades for a player that has been playing in the NBA for a good 5-6 years, is a relative unknown, and that player becomes an essential part of your team on its run towards the playoffs. Sure we knew Brad Miller could help or that Tim Thomas would be a nice role player. But, who would have guessed 3 months ago that Salmons would be one of the Bulls’ better players? Not me and certainly not my dad.

8. Kirk Hinrich’s not bad off the bench. He has his legs underneath him because he isn’t guarding the other team’s best guard for most of the game. He can come in and start shooting with his great looking shot. Unfortunately, for some reason, Hinrich can’t hit an open 3-pointer to save his life. I can’t understand this.

9. I am convinced that Ben Gordon is a robot. Like a tennis ball machine or a baseball pitch machine, BG’s a basketball shooting machine. BG possesses an automatic, consistent shot that always aims perfectly at its target. Sure he’ll miss, but it’s just a calibration error. He probably pushes a button and he’s right back on target again.

10. I really hope the Bulls play the Magic in the 1^st round. They will probably lose, but I think we could give them a run. I know Boston is down right now, but with a healthy KG, they’ll be great in no time.

11. I am starting to understand why Tim Thomas never quite made it as a great player in the NBA. You can’t be great when you are consistently MIA. Thomas either suffers a soft injury or goes missing due to “personal” reasons. I would bet some money that Thomas manages to miss at least one of the Bulls’ playoffs games. I can see the groin strain from here.

12. Derrick Rose is a baller. He will never be an MJ or even a Magic Johnson. But he’ll be great. In fact, he is already really, really good. It’s impressive to see a point guard score, pass and lead an average team to the playoffs as a rookie. I can't wait to watch his career progress in that Bulls' uniform.

13. TV and radio owners needs to prohibit any advertising communicating the Subway “5 dollar foot-long” commercials. In fact, by just reading the preceding sentence and "5 dollar foot-long", I probably ruined your day.