Bill Simmons is a Rose Fan

Check out this story by Bill Simmons the Boston Sports' Guy. He's in love with the Bermuda D. Rose. (pan down a few paragraphs). http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/081126&sportCat=nba

Happy Eating, Football Day

See ya next Monday for the Bears recap of the Vikings.

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Happy Thanksgiving

TMTs:

1. Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the greatest holiday known to mankind. Its main point of emphasis is to eat. I get the whole pilgrim thing and the thanking part. But really what this holiday is about is eating and football. What more could you ask for? True, a holiday on the day that the new Madden football game comes out would be a superior holiday. But, until that happens, Thanksgiving takes the crown. Now, if we could only get rid of the Detroit Lions and put a respectable franchise on the Thanksgiving Day football ticket.

2. On a weird tangent, on my way to work today I saw a midget riding what appeared to be a specialized midget bicycle. Even more irregular, the midget had to have been going around 20 miles per hour. He (I assume it was a he midget) was swerving in and out of traffic lanes. I wondered whether the driver of a car hitting the midget would have gone to jail for some sort of vehicular manslaughter. I wonder if the defense, "I could not see him" would have saved the car driver.

3. Derrick Rose put up 25 points and 9 assists last night in a win against the Jazz. His defense is still sub-par, but everything else about him screams All-Star. Matt Forte and Derrick Rose, the Chicago Rookies, are officially my favorite Chicago sports' athletes.

4. I wonder if all the so called experts who have picked Greenbay to win the NFC North still think that they will win it today.

5. On one hand, its not good for the NFC North's prestige to have such a lowly team like the Lions in our division. But on the other hand, isn't it nice that the Bears get to play the Lions twice every year? Sure they'll split their match-ups more often than not, but they're the f'n Lions. Its not like they're going to win the Division.

6. I still have no clue what Lovie Smith does on Gameday. For all we know, he's listening to Motown records on his headsets. That, or he's really constipated and not trying to let it show.

7. JacK McCullam (Sorry, can't spell his name), wrote on article in last week's SI, blatantly criticizing MJ for (a) his work running the Charlotte Bobcats and (b) for his reluctance to do a story for SI. SI ran a cover and story on MJ during his attempt at baseball. The Headline read "Bag it Michael, Jordan and the White Sox are Embarrassing Baseball". Never Mind that these ignorant writers turned their backs on the Steroid Issue in Baseball. Somehow MJ was embarrassing the game, not the elephant sized heads of baseball players that would follow. But regardless, I can see the criticism levied against MJ. But I also find it perfectly rational for MJ not to want to ever do an SI story. SI ripped MJ a new one. MJ provided material for SI to sell millions of magazines due to his presence on its covers. So now, after calling him an embarrassment they are still somehow amazed that MJ wouldn't want to provide them with the material for more stories?

8. What's even worse is Jack M.'s random bashing of MJ in the story. His own research would have revealed that MJ doesn't really do anything for the Bobcats. He's a minority owner, who was smart enough to negotiate a role where he could say no (or yes) to any final decision by the GM (Higgins). This is what the business world calls Voting Stock. It appears MJ's role for the Bobcats is diminimus. He's a figurehead, a marketing ploy, and a part owner of a basketball franchise. True, he can overrule a decision by the GM, but so can Jerry Reinsdorf or the Bears' owner. If Jackie wants to rip MJ an new one, he should criticize his ownership, not his basketball savvy as a GM.

9. I'm completely out of my fantasy football league picture. Should I continue to pick up players on the waiver wire?

10. I really had something else to say here, but I completely forget it. Anyway, Happy Football, Turkey, Eating Day.

Chicago Bears vs. Rams: The St. Louis Cure

A.P. News
Mayo Clinic 8:45am

Doctors last week at the world renowned Mayo Clinic diagnosed the apathetic Chicago Bears with a severe case of Defensivitis. According to Dr. Rashmanthu, Defensivitis is a common medical condition that spreads throughout NFL locker rooms and specifically attaches itself to the cells of defensive players. Symptoms include: the inability to break a block, stop the run, stop the pass, or rush the passer. Fortunately, Dr. Ronald Beaverton a scientist from the University of Chicago discovered a cure for Defensivitis, which he appropriately named, "The St. Louis Cure". The St. Luois Cure was administered to the Bears on Sunday afternoon. The results so far, have been extremely successful. However, doctors are still unsure of the long term benefits of the medication. Dr. Beaverton commented, "we know that the St. Louis Cure will work on a one time basis, but whether it [will] continue to cure the Bears defensivitis against the Vikings next week or down the road against the Packers, is still highly questionable". When reached for comment, Adewale Ogunleye stated, "Its like somebody shot me up with HGH or steroids. I feel amazing. Yesterday, I was actually playing football and sacking the QB. There is nothing like the St. Louis Cure". The Bears coach, Lovie Smith commented in his long southern accent, "We'll we know who we are and we're not going to change [anything[. The system has worked before and it will work again. I don't think the St. Louis Cure had anything to do with it. We know we are a good football team".

Critics of the St. Louis Cure have argued that the drug only provides a short term solution to what is a long term disease. Dr. Richard Sexton believes that the drug simply masks the symptoms of defensivitis, which usually reappear only one or two weeks later. His concern is shared with fans of the Chicago Bears who are cautious about the long-term affects of the cure. One Bear fan was noted saying, " I wish we could play the Rams every week".

Chicago Bulls: Culture War-Offense vs. Defense

Have you ever heard of a great doctor, who is also a great lawyer? Probably not, because the doctor won't perform risky, life saving procedures out of the fear he'll get sued. And the lawyer, well, lets just say he's too busy suing people. The old saying is that you can be a jack of all trades, but a master of none. Likewise, the Bulls can't have their cake and eat it to. Either they become a great defense (or offense), or they will suffer the consequences of being mediocre on both ends.

Well what about the great 90's Bulls teams you ask? They were a great defensive team, but I don't think you would confuse them for being the showtime Lakers of the 80s. MJ was the best scorer ever, but remember he also played with Horace Grant, Bill Cartwright, Will Perdue, Luke Longley, and Rodman. Let's just say they were offensively challenged. So even looking at one of the greatest teams ever, (who were probably as close to being great in both aspects of the game than anyone), the 90s Bulls won 6 banners largely due to defense (and MJ of course). Want another example? What about those 85 Bears? You don't hear people talking about the vaunted offense? No they win that SB title because of the 4-6 defense.

So lets get back to these Bulls. Against Portland, with Deng injured, From Black (Del Negro) , went with a lineup of Rose, Gordon, and Larry Huges , with Huges as the SF. That would have worked if Portland was fielding the 3 little piggies. Instead, that lineup got rolled over for 116 points, with the likes of Brandon Roy, Aldridge and Oden tearing up our defense.

At some point, the Bulls need to decide who they are. Are they the offensive powerhouse that's going to outscore opponents 113-109, or are they the defensive nightmare, winning games 87-79. Its a tough decision. Obviously, I go with the defensive nightmare. It may limit Rose's ability to run on the fast break, but its not like he can pass the ball to Amare Stoudamire or Lebron James on the wing for a fastbreak dunk. Del Negro is attempting to run a Formula One car race because he's got a hot Ferrari at the PG spot, but basketball is a team sport and your other drivers are all driving Ford Tauruses.

Plus if the 90's Bulls taught us anything, its that great defense leads to good offense. The Bermuda Rose does his thing better when he gets an outlet pass from a Noah rebound versus trying to run the offense after an inbound pass after an Oden dunk. Its a culture war out there. I'm hoping the defense wins.

SI loves Bermuda (Derrick Rose)

Its essentially unanimous. Sports Illustrated is in love with Derrick "the Bermuda" Rose. Link Here.

Derrick Rose: One Man Army

Imagine the following: You're a rookie NBA basketball player, with one year of post high-school basketball education. Your facing an army comprised of a 3 time NBA champion, the best player in the league and top 10 NBA player of all time (Kobe), his coach- a 9 time NBA champion, a point guard who has won 3 titles, an All-Star PF (Paul Gasol), and legit young center big man (Bynum). Your army? It consists of a midget at SG (Ben Gordon), an ordinary SF (Deng), an overrated PF (Gooden), and the smallest-big man center in the league (Noah). Essentially, you're an army of one. You're Derrick "the Bermuda" Rose.

Despite those odds and facing probably the deepest bench in the NBA (the Lakers), Derrick "the Bermuda" Rose put up the following stat line (25 points, 9 assists, 3 rebounds and only 2 turnovers). (Quick tangent. Lets get this Bermuda thing started. Bermuda is some kind of rare rose. Also, it makes sense because defenders are lost trying to guard Derrick Rose, or since he's so fast, he disappears from defenders -ala Bermuda triangle-. Seriously, people worth with me.) Rose's assist total would have been 20 if Luol Deng could shoot an open jumper. That's pretty impressive considering the Bulls place so much pressure on Rose to make things happen. They ask him to run the offense, create offense, and score points. Yet, he does it so effortlessly and with the calmness of a veteran. I guess I'm getting caught up with Rose and I don't want to over hype him. But he looks like the real deal. So what about those other case of characters?

Deng played good defense on Kobe early on. But he was woeful on offense. He couldn't do anything and had trouble hitting open shots. Ben Gordon put up 23 points, but was only 6-22. Not good. This is what happens when a bigger and better SG is defending you. Larry Hughes was no better. He looked as interested as a Alec Baldwin at a Sarah Palin rally.

The Bulls put up 109 points, but gave up 116. It was an inspired effort against the Lakers. But if the Bulls can't play better defense, they are going to continue to lose games on this Circus trip. They're just not good enough to out shoot good opponents.

MTV Cribbs: Average House Edition with Garrett Wolfe

Just joking. Garrett's got a nice pad. Check out for more interesting behind the scenes Bears videos.

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Old School

Sometimes our memory only goes back 5 minutes. We forget sometimes how truly great Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas, or Walter Payton were because we're so focused on Chris Paul, Lebron and the Real Adrien Peterson. For instance, I always make the point that the Packers aren't our true rivals and that the Vikings traditionally fit that mold. This is an obvious case of a 5 minute memory. But, thanks to NFL Network's broadcast of the Bears vs. Packers game in 1985, I can now understand what all those annoying 85 Bears players were talking about. If you just watch the first quarter of that game, you realize what true, hate, loathing rivalry really is. Here are my thoughts on that game and others.

1. On Walter Payton's first carry of the game he approached the white sideline and stepped out of bounds by 3 yards. That should have been the end of the play. But no, this was vintage Packers/Bears. A Packers' player hit Payton, who was already beyond the 5ft white sideline, proceeded to tackle him past the standing bench players and coaches, lifted him up for about another 3 feet, and then pushed him over a bench that had to be about 10 yards away from the sideline. Today, players get flagged for hitting a player who is a step out of bounds. In this instance, the Packers player hit Payton, dragged him, and pushed him over a bench 10 yards away from the field of play. That my dear friends (I sound like McCain), is a real rivalry. (Note, the packer's player got ejected from the game). SEE POINT 5 BELOW for video.

2. During the first half Payton ran left for about 3 yards and was tackled. Matt Suey, a FB for the Bears stood 3 yards away. After the tackle (about 3 seconds after Payton was tackled. I know this because I counted it 5 times), a Packers' player came from nowhere and just decked Suey to the ground. Full steam, arm up, Suey looking elsewhere, and just decked him. Think safety running full steam and hitting an unprotected WR. Except, that Suey was just standing there and the play had been called dead. (Note, interestingly the player didn't get ejected this time, but did get a personal foul penalty). AGAIN SEE POINT 5 BELOW.

3. So that was the nasty stuff. Sometimes we also forget how truly great our former heroes are. For instance, Walter Payton looked completely incredible during that game. He always seemed slow on the NFL game films, but he looked lightning fast that game. Payton also danced and moved like he was running on air. It seemed like he would be in the air for 2-3 steps, and then touch down one foot on the ground and lift off for another 2-3 yards. Plus, he was nasty. He got hit so hard during that game that if Cedric Benson was just watching, he would have gotten hurt. Just amazing.

4. Again sometimes with 5 minute memory, you forget why a defense like the 85 Bears was so great. They almost seem mythical. We know that they existed and were good, but they couldn't possibly have been THAT great. Well, that game reinforced that the myth was true. In what was a 360 degree change from our current defensive Cover 2 scheme, the Bears D had 8 men on the line of scrimmage. No Tillman and Vasher playing 10 yards off their WRs. No, Singletary guarding a WR 40 yards down field. No, everyone was playing defense in the Packer's offensive backfield. Brilliant!

5. Alright. Watch the beginning of this clip with highlights from that game.


Random Thoughts

6. I'm pretty pumped to see Derick Rose tonight vs. the Lakers. I haven't said that about a Bulls player in a really, really long time. Rose is quickly becoming my favorite Chicago player. Rose and Forte! Not a bad Chicago rookie class.

7. Peter King sucks, yet I still read him. I wonder how many MMQs he has done, which haven't referenced the Patriots. I believe in the East Cost bias simply because I think its normal and human for people who live on the east coast to favor (or at least provide more coverage) for the local team. It looks like a lot of SI writers and everyone at ESPN either work or live on the east coast. They probably all listen to local sports talk radio and read local papers. Plus they are all on east coast time. It just makes reasonable sense that they would also cover east coast teams more than other teams. But, Peter King is still a douche bag. But again, I still read his shit every Monday. Which, I guess makes me an idiot.

8. Why do the Sun-Times and Tribune seem to write identical stories every day. I guess when the Bears play a stinker like they did against the Packers, both papers are going to write about the stinker. But, they also seem to take the same angle. Lastly, they also always tend to use the same player quotes. I think I read the same quote attributed to Mike Brown in 10 different articles yesterday.

9. Why is Cold Pizza/1st Take still on the air?

10. If you could pick a QB from this group to lead the Bears, who do you pick? Orton, Aaron Rodgers, David Gerard, or Matt Ryan? I think its safe to say that I would take Rodgers and Ryan over Orton, with me picking Rodgers over all of them simply because he's young but also a veteran. Although, I-Truth made a good point during the game that Rodgers looks like a such a vagina. True. But so does Orton. Orton narrowly beats out Gerard in my book though.

Peace.

Chicago Bears vs. Greenbay Packers: Monsters of Dissapointment

I really don't know what to say here. Any comment I make on the poor play and coaching would just be pointing out the obvious. What you didn't notice that our D-Line got abused yesterday? That Vasher and Tillman keep on giving up the 10 yard comeback route? That we have below average WRs and our Designated Hero, Devin Hester looks more Robin than Batman? Its clear the Bears were one big pile of manure yesterday. It was so bad that I wished Bret Favre was still the Packers QB (we at least won 4 straight games when he was there). Alright, now that I actually have pointed out the obvious, is there any sort of copper lining (I think silver lining would be pushing it)? Well, here are my players of the week.

1. Offensive Player of the week: Matt Forte continues to impress. During the broadcast Aikman pointed out that Forte has more yards from scrimmage than any RB/WR rookie in the NFL. That is impressive. Yet, he gets no respect as a potential offensive rookie of the year candidate. Chris Johnson of the Tennessee gets more respect, but he shares the load with Lendall White. In contrast, Forte is not only our only RB, he is our offense. Must rushing yards and most receptions. He really does it all- runs for TDs, catches TDs, and blocks very well. I can see an argument for Mat Ryan b/c its hard playing QB in this league, especially as a rookie. But Michael Turner makes that offense go. Similarly, so does Forte. Orton's rise this year has as much to do with Forte's ability and making defenses respect the run, than Orton's actual play. Its a lot easier passing the ball when everyone is in the box trying to stop Forte in the running game.

2. Defensive player of the week: Its really hard supporting any player here. I just defended Tommie Harris last Friday and he returns the favor by playing a mediocre game (although it seemed like he only played about 1/3 of the snaps yesterday. I saw a whole lot of Dusty Divorecek getting his ass beat down). Urlacher had a nice INT, but missed a lot of tackles on Ryan Grant. The only player that stood out was Mike Brown. He delivered blows on every tackle. He was bringing it. I love Mike Brown for that. On a day where the defense just looked flat and old, Mike Brown was flying around like he was still 23. If Mike Brown wasn't there yesterday, Grant goes for 200 yards by himself. As Ali G, would say-- Mike Brown, RESPECT.

Players Say Urlacher's still got it.

I found this David Haugh (Tribune) article a great read. It explains how opposing players still find Urlacher to be at the top of his game. Press Here.

Stop blaming Tommie Harris and look to Alex Brown and Adewale Ogunleye

Can we stop it with the Tommie Harris bashing? The media is constantly putting players on a pedestal, just so they can bring them back down to earth (how many cycles have we seen of Kobe Bryant portrayed as the greatest player and then degraded b/c he isn't MJ?) It is fair to criticize players like Harris who have high expectations, but not when that criticism is unfounded.

Tommie Harris has been playing injured, but still is the focus of offensive coordinators' game-plans. He's the one getting double teamed every play and he still has 2 sacks, just .5 sacks less than Adewale Oguleye a defensive end paid to rush the passer. We're juding Tommie Harris on sack production, but he's a defensive tackle. Sure sacks are an added plus, but great defensive tackles clog up blockers, demand double teams and stop the run. Isn't that exactly what Tommie Harris and the other DTs have done so far this year? If you look at almost any defensive play, Harris is getting double teamed. He is doing his job, but others aren't.

So where does the blame go? First, Ogunleye, Alex Brown and Mark Anderson for not getting to the QB, despite less double teams. Defensive ends are paid for sack production. At the very least, they should hurry the QB and make him step up in the pocket for DTs to make plays. It doesn't work the other way. For the record, Adewale Ogunleye ("OG"), has 2.5 sacks this year in 9 games. Brown? 3. Anderson? 0. These guys haven't been gettin it done, yet they've escaped the criticism, while Harris is somehow the cullprit. Some sports commentators state that Harris deserves the blame b/c he got the new contract. But didn't he earn it with all those pro-bowls? Even better, aren't OG and Brown being paid to play? OG has put up the following sack totals in his career for the Bears: 5, 10, 6.5, 9 and now 2.5. Alex Brown has totaled the following in his Bear career: 6, 6, 7, 4.5, and now 3. Sorry, that's not getting it done. That's analogous to the sack production of a below-average end, not starting DEs on a great defensive team.

Of course the blame isn't all on them. Unfortunately, there is plenty to go around. It doesn't help that our corner backs play 10 yards off of WRs and provide mediocre QBs the chance to convert 3 step drop patterns for 5-10 yards. Worse, even when we blitz we don't seem to get to the QB. Thus, some blame also rests on guys like Briggs, Urlacher, Mike Brown, etc., who aren't getting to the QB.

Lastly, the coaches are to blame. If you can't get pressure with a blitz, then maybe its the type of blitz calls we're doing that seem to be easily picked up. Moreover, the coaches seem to have implemented a system that allows the teams the easy 5-10 short pass plays that have been killing us.

In my mind Tommie Harris should be acquitted of these false accusations. Lets go after the real guilty parties.

Chicago Bulls vs. Atlanta Hawks: Ben Gordon can't play with Derick Rose

Watching last night's Atlanta victory over my beloved Bulls I came to the following conclusions:

1. Ben Gordon and Derick Rose can't play together. Ben Gordon is a ball hog. He's a great shooter, but he needs to dribble the ball about 20 seconds before he gets his shot off. Which is fine except that your best player, Derick Rose needs the rock. With Gordan in the game, we can't get the ball to our best play-maker.

2. Even worse, a Gordan/Rose back-court might as well be an I-Pass lane on defense. Ben Gordon can't guard anyone and Derick Rose's biggest flaw is his soft-defense. Seriously, watch Derick Rose play defense, it looks like he's just pretending to play defense. He shadows his man and makes almost no attempt to actually defend anything. He looks seriously lost on defense.

3. You can't play Nocioni at PF, Deng, Gordon and Rose at the same time and expect to consistently win games. You can't defend teams like that. Atlanta tore us up for 113 points because of that defensive lineup. Since the dawn of time, you win games by playing great defense, not by thinking you can outscore another team with a smaller lineup. Del Negro is not getting this point. Like Skiles, he thinks he can shoot his way out of a loss. Its not going to happen in the long-run. We will suck on offense, but Del Negro needs to start Noah, Gooden, Deng, Tabo and Rose. Bring in Gordon to give Rose a breather. When Hughs comes back he can come in for Tabo. Tyrus relieves Gooden and Gray comes in for Noah. Its not that f'n hard.

4. On that note, I think I would rather have Nocioni play (i.e. start and get more minutes) SF then Deng. Deng is so soft and inconsistent. Noc brings it every night, has a better outside shot, and is a much better defender. Deng is overrated. Noc is Noc. Can we trade Deng for someone?

As I said at the beginning of the season, the Bulls are going to struggle early on. There are too many new faces, a new coach, and a new system. Hopefully, it gets turned around.

Additional Thoughts

1. I am so sick and tired of Power Polls or NFL Rankings. This isn't the retarded and backward NCAA football we are talking about. I don't care where Peter King, the person who calls himself DR. Z, who I will just call Mr. Irrelevant, ESPN, or any other website ranks NFL teams. As Mike Golic would say. Stop it. Just Stop it. Fill your pages with something more meaningful.

2. With respect to the retarded NCAA football, could someone with a real voice make the argument that a non-playoff NCAA football championship actually makes the regular season LESS important. Here is the simple argument. Do we care what happens to Penn State now? They aren't getting into the BCS Title game, THUS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEIR REMAINING REGULAR SEASON GAMES IS MEANINGLESS. And that's the weakest example. What about the 90% of teams who lose a game or more within the first 4 weeks of the regular season? Your telling me that Ohio State is still playing meaningful games with 2 losses? Or worse that Michigan has played a single meaningful game this year? Basically the BCS system makes the regular season important for about 5-8 teams each year. And as we approach the end of the year, that number gets further whittled down, to about 2-4. To the contrary, an 8 team playoff would allow the 1 and 2 loss teams of the world to play meaningful games even in October and November. If I hear one more moron make the argument that a playoff system would hurt the regular season I am going to scream. Please somebody make this counter-argument!!!!!

3. Lastly, the Giants Lincecum just won the Cy Young Award. Only about 2 months since the last day he played a game of baseball. Way to stay relevant baseball.

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Execrable Commercials

This image resulted from a Goggle images search of "Best Commercials". I concur. Although today, the young Cindy Crawford would be called a plus sized model. Alright, this week's TMT theme? Terrible commercials and advertisements.

1. The Bud Light "Drinkability" commercials. No its not taste I'm after, I'm just looking for a really drinkable drink. You know the kind of substance that is fluid and can be digested without chewing. A drink that is kind of like water because water is drinkable.

2. Every Coors commercial that I've seen. I think Coors is trying to set the record for number of ways you can innovate a can/bottle. We've got the "vent" can, the "the mountain's will turn blue when its cold bottle", and the best one ever "we transport our beer in an ice train" so it stays cold during transportation commercials. Never mind that the beer lays warm in the retail store before its sold. Anyway, I think what Coors is really trying to get across is the following: "Listen- our beer sucks, but our can's are pretty cool".

3. The Bulls Love it Live marketing campaign. To be truthful, the Ads should say, "Listen the Bulls suck, but we got the best acrobats, fat men dancing, ugliest cheerleaders, and a donut race". P.S. This is why I don't pay anymore to attend Bulls games. Its nauseating how much extra crap they're trying to shower us with. Here's a thought, how about you dazzle me with great basketball, instead of the Chinese bowl acrobat lady.

4. I saw this commercial this morning and found it funny. Word for word, "Lipozene is not for people who want to lose weight, its for people who want to lose pounds of fat".

5. The Bears still run Ads marketing that "single game tickets are on sale". Never mind that all single game tickets were sold-out on July 17th, 5 minutes after they went on sale. So the Bears are paying money for advertisements for a product that doesn't even exist. Kind of like how Bears fans have been paying money for a product that doesn't really exist.

Random Thoughts.

6. MLB still hasn't dished out the Cy Young(s), best manager, and other major awards. I'm not even sure they've given out the MVP award. Is this their attempt to stay relevant almost a month after the season ends? Baseball should take a lesson from real sports and issue these awards when they are relevant (i.e. the post-season). Why is baseball so f'n backward? People stopped paying attention to the sport when it was decided that the Phillies and Rays would go to the World Series. Should we now care who is going to win the Cy Young in November? Move on.

7. Saginasty Bags ( co-contributor to this website, although he doesn't contribute), is a Lions fan. Yesterday, he e-mailed me and poked fun of how soft Kyle Orton was because he needed a cart when he hurt his ankle against the Lions. His argument was that he was at the game and all the Lions fans were shocked about his low pain tolerance. As I pointed out to him yesterday, his logic is so irrelevant and flawed that I couldn't possibly respond to Orton's pain tolerance threshold issues. Instead, I list the Lions past and present QBs:. Joey Harrington ( I should stop here, but...) John Kitna, Mike McMahon, Orlovsky, Josh McNown, Rodney Peete, Charlie Batch, Scott Mitchell, Stony Case, Frank Reich, Dan Majkowski, and now, Daunte Cullpeper and Drew Stanton. Brilliant. I actually think this group is worse than the Bears history of QBs. At least Jim McMahon won a SB and people have heard of our hall of fame QB, Sid Luckman.

8. I had dinner with my wife's co-workers, who happen to be gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that, to steal a Seinfeld Quote. But, when gay men make lewd dick jokes, it's not funny. Its creepy and makes things rather uncomfortable if your straight. Again, not that there is anything wrong with that.

9. I love how some people claimed that making fun of President Bush or rejecting his arguments was somehow unpatriotic, but that making fun of Barack Obama and his message of hope and change is somehow good for the country. Jump aboard people, if he fails (which is a possibility) we might be making counterfeit Rolex watches and selling them to people in China and India.

10. Tony Kornheiser is the worst MNF commentator not named Dennis Miller, ever. Tony stop asking Jaws questions about football. I believe that the person commenting about a football game should know the game, instead of asking his co-commentators about whether such and such play was really a penalty or whether Shaun Hill is a good QB.

Done.

Chicago Bears vs. Titans: The Final Chapter on Rex Grossman

My great friend, lets call him Grizzly b/c he's a hairy one, text messaged me after the game, "If Orton played, we beat the Titans!". For the first time in the Grossman era, I had to agree with him: If Orton's in the game, I think we got a chance to beat the best team (record wise) in football. Which says something about how far Orton has come, but is really a damming conclusion on how terrible Rex Grossman is. But Grossman's performance wasn't the only reason for the Bears loss. Let us examine.

1. Grossman is just too small to become an elite QB in this league. Unlike Orton who can see the entire field, Grossman has to find throwing lanes between tall lineman to make passes. So instead of seeing 70% of the field, Grossman's height automatically reduces his field of vision to around 30-40%. That's a lot of "he didn't see the linebacker or safety and he just threw a terrible interception" type plays. Even worse, Grossman's confidence is ground-low (opposite I think of sky high). He looks scared and lost out there sometimes. Almost as if he needs a big hug. I've been the biggest Grossman backer, but now even I have to admit, Grossman's career is done in Chicago. I wish him the best of luck in the future. But as for this book? I'm done reading it.

2. I'm going to sound like a Jay Marriotti column when I say this next paragraph. (I.e. I've said this comment about 20 times already and will repeat the same theme again and again.). But, the Bears defensive line is just terrible. Think about the QBs we've made look like Pro-Bowlers. Brian Griese, Matt Ryan, John Kitna, Orlovsky, Guss Ferrotte, and now Kerry Collins. We stopped the run. But, we also gave up 290 passing yards and 2 passing TDs yesterday. Kerry Collins looked as if he was the 3rd little piggy chilling in his brick house. He had all day to make plays. No pressure from Alex Brown or Ogunleye. Even worse, when we did send extra blitzes, we STILL couldn't get to the QB. There is no reason that you can't get to the QB, when you send Briggs, Brown and Urlacher on a blitz. What kind of blitzes are we calling Babich? For what seems like the 9 straight game, the Bears couldn't get to the QB.

3. Our offense finally started to pick things up when we went into the no huddle offense late in the 4th quarter. But why did it take us so long to get into it? Its worked the past 8 games for Orton, why didn't we go too it sooner?

4. The bright spots of the game? Forte still looks great. He had over 100 yards running/receiving and scored a TD. Urlacher finally showed up yesterday and made a lot of plays stopping the run. Greg Olsen had a few nice plays. Devin Hester looks to be excelling as a WR. If Grossman doesn't overthrow Hester on that deep throw, DH has got a 60 yard plus TD.

5. Goats (besides Grossman and entire DL?) : Charles Tillman for repeatedly giving his man the come back route. Vasher for getting schooled by Justin f'n Gage. Kevin Payne for having no impact on the game (sorry, I don't buy into the Payne hype machine). Lastly, Lovie Smith, Turner and Babich for not coaching poorly (they did an okay job), but failing to out-coach the opposing team.

Chicago Bears Mid-Season Report: Where's Brian Urlacher?

Its time for the Bears Mid-Season Report. At 5-3, the Bears are about 1 game over where I predicted them to be this year. (Remember I had them going 8-8 this season.) So needless to say, I'm pretty happy, the Bears are better than I thought they were (Again, thanks Coach Green). But let's delve into it a little more.

First, ask yourself is this team a Superbowl team? I don't care about playoffs, winning the division, etc., unless it means at least a trip to the big game. Right now the Bears are sub-par playoff team that can't run against 8 man fronts and can't rush the passer on defense. Its a pessimistic view. But, at least I'm being honest. When I think of the 2008 Bears, I think average, okay, better than expected. That's a recipe for a 1st round exit.

But, I am being a little too harsh. Because of teams like the Giants and the Steelers, its become less an less important to be great during weeks 4-10. To the contrary, all that really matters is being great in weeks 18, 19, and 20 (i.e. the postseason). The Superbowl Bears' team un-led by Grossman were great in weeks 2-6, but were only above average during the playoffs and Superbowl game. So what am I really saying here? Well just because we're playing okay now, doesn't mean that we can' t be great later on. Hey, if the Giants can do it, why can't we?

Back to reality and the offense. Orton's been pretty darn good. Forte is a breath of fresh air. Our WRs are okay, but still getting it done. Overall, the offense gets a solid B+.

Defense you ask? Well, lets get back on point. Where in the worl d is Brian Urlacher? He's got that new great contract, but isn't playing like a great middle line backer. I judge my Chicago sports's hero's on championships. MJ, the GOLD STANDARD, won about 4 championships before he really cashed in. Even better, after getting paid the big bucks, he still delivered 2 more banners. Now that's greatness. Urlacher? He used to be great. Unfortunately, he's just solid now. Of course, to be fair, its a lot tougher to be great in your 30s in football, than it is in basketball.

Put simply, our best defensive player, really isn't our best defensive player. Briggs and Tommie Harris took that mantle over. They're at the thanksgiving adults' table with Orton and Forte, while Urlacher, Grossman, Vasher, Kreutz, and Ogunleye are stuck eating chicken fingers at the kids' table.

Overall, the Bears defense isn't getting it done. They've been good stopping the run, but awfull at stoping the pass. Its okay to get away with that when you face QBs like Brian Griese, Matt Ryan, John Kitna, and Orlolvsky, but what happens when we play Eli Manning, Romo, or even McNabb again (and they're not even that great). Overall, the defense's mid-season grade is a C.

Let's hope the Bears start studying like they're about to take the Bar exam. To win it all, we need A's.

Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Election Day

Our theme for this Tuesday? Elections. Here we go.

1. Who's mentally insufficient, rude, lazy, and has no sense of time? The guy working your local election day polling place. As George Costanza couldn't say, "We'll, oh yeah, the mental hospital called, and evidently they're out of retards".

2. If I had to elect the hardest hitting team in football, hands down I would vote for the Pittsburgh Steelers defense. Both teams in fact (Redskins) we're just laying pipe down last night on MNF. If I was playing the Steelers defense, I would have faked some kind of injury.

3. Lets see Judge X is up for election. I have no idea who Judge X is. But whew, I really like his last name. It must be irish. Wheww. I'll vote for him.

4. If I had to elect the most incompetent head coaches in the NFL, I would vote for one of the following people. The guy who's now coaching the raiders, Rod Marinelli and Herman Edwards. I'm pretty sure I vote Edwards.

5. If I had a vote as to who we trade from the Bulls and the nominees are: Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich, and Larry Hughes. I would elect to trade all of them. Luol Deng scored 1 point last night. One f'n point.

6. If I could vote for the worst fantasy football team ever, I would vote for the Fantasy Club (F.C.) Goners.

7. If I could vote for the best alternative sports related website, (not including this one of course), I vote for the Big Lead, simply because of their babe pictures.

8. If I could vote for best mainstream sports related website? I vote SI.com. They got Extra Mustard (see point 7 for a reason why), better writers (Sorry Scoop Jackson, I would rather read Mariotti), and just an easier layout. Plus, they don't have Scoop Jackson.

9. If I could vote for best .com writer and the nominees are: Bill Simmons, Reily, Peter King (ugh), and Jason Whitlock. I think I go Bill Simmons b/c the Patriots aren't good now. I still like a little Whitlock every now and then. Reily is nice, but only once a week. Peter King sucks.

10. If I could vote for my all time Bears team, I would lineup the following players:
QB: Orton (Seriously, there is no one else. Maybe Erik Kramer? Grossman? McMahon really wasn't good. Sid L. was too old.
RB: Walter Peyton backed up by Neal Anderson. Sorry Sayres, I'm too young.
WR: Willie Gault (God we had shitty WRs also) and Marty Booker (Oh my lord, our best WRs are Willie Gault and MArty Booker.). Scratch that, I'll add Devin Hester instead.
DL: Richard Dent, Tommie Harris, Dan Hampton, Fred Washington.
LB: Briggs, Singletary, and Otis Wilson.
Crs: Vasher and Tillman (I just can't think of anyone else)
Safety: Mike Brown and Gary Fencik
K: Butler
P: Maynard

11. Bulls you ask? PG: Derrick Rose, SG: Michael Jordan, SF: Scottie Pippen, PF: Horace Grant, C: Cartwright, with my 6th man being, Kukoc. That was a whole lot easier.

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Chicago Bears: We're Bringing Rexy Back

He's back!!! I must admit, I am an out of the closet Rex Grossman fan. I was kind of happy he got a chance to play this year. Didn't you just have a sliver of hope that Grossman would miraculously become Bret Favre (the good Favre) for 2 quarters yesterday? Well he wasn't "the good Bret Favre", but he did engineer a comeback. It hurts to lose Orton now because he was playing very well. Let us hope we get the good Rexy and not the bad Grossman. Alright, on to the game thoughts.

1. You cannot, I repeat (for the 1000th time on this website) play the Cover 2 defense if you can't get pressure with your front four. The Bears can't get pressure with the D-line, yet are still playing the Cover 2. Its terrible. Babich and Lovie, get out of your love making with the Cover 2 and start attacking the Quarterback. There is absolutely no reason we should sit back in a soft zone and let Orlovsky pick us apart. Stop it. Just stop it.

2. On that note, isn't it time we call out Ogunleye, Mark Anderson and Alex Brown? Enough with the Tommie Harris bashing. He's playing fine. If you want to get real pressure on the QB, you've got to get an outside pass rush. At the very least, get enough outside pressure to make the QB step up and possibly get sacked by your interior lineman. You can't rely on your DTs to get sacks. It starts with the DE's. So far, they're not getting it done.

3. Ron Turner. I don't want to hate on you too much b/c your basically taking a below average offense and making them a pretty good offensive team (most points per game in the NFL). But, when Orton got hurt, you've got to protect your backup QB by running the rock with Forte. In the 3rd quarter you kept putting the ball in the hands of Grossman, who obviosly looked a little rusty. Give the ball to Forte. Thankfully, you came around in the 4th quarter and Forte started killing that Lions D.

4. A) Our special teams unit is not blocking anyone on kickoffs and B) Devin Hester doesn't remotely look 100% healthy. Worse, he's constantly fumbling the ball. That game isn't even close if Devin doesn't cough up that Kick Off in the 2nd Quarter.

5. Back to our defense. Its just not very good. What happened to Urlacher? He honestly hasn't made one big play this year. Not one. The Bears pay him like a HOF, but he's been playing like Larry Minter. Thankfully, Lance Briggs is playing some pretty darn good football. P.S. Steltz' pick of Orlovsky was beautiful.

Next Week: Its going to be a rough game against the Titans. They're great at taking away the run. Which means that Grossman is going to have to make some plays down the field. I actually like our chances against Tennessee, simply because we've played the run, better than the pass this year on defense. And Tennessee is going to do a whole lot of running.